Wallflower
by AMessofADreamerx
Summary: Barry Allen couldn't take any more death. Destruction. Pain. He had to try harder for all the people he's failed. So when his old classmate is down in a puddle of blood because of him, he does just that. 8 months later when Ella Peterson wakes up from a coma, she has powers, enemies, & (weirdest of all) friends. She's not the same girl she was before she died. She's now the Bolt.
1. Pre-Destruction of Reverse Flash

**PROLOGUE: PRE-DESTRUCTION OF REVERSE FLASH**

Blood highlighted her dark hair red. It pooled around her head and fell like rain on a window from her lips. She laid still with a shuddering chest as her failing lungs tried to do what they were created for—to breathe. But there was a bullet hole causing the air to escape as soon as it entered. She past the point of pain though, her eyes staring unblinkingly into truly the love of her life, as she knew she was dying, and he's all she's ever loved.

Even though he was dressed in red and yellow leather suit that covered most of his face, she knew who it was. As a wallflower, she knew who everyone was, but there had always been something different about him that he never outgrew. That she always saw, that she always loved.

So she knew the moment the pictures of him starting surfacing on Iris' blog. But just like every other thing she knew, she kept it tucked away in her mind, never to be uttered out loud.

She closed her eyes.

He was worth dying for.

One last breath escaped her chest and she fell into a never-ending pit of darkness.

* * *

Ella. Ella Grace Peterson. In the instant it took to blink his eyes, the Flash ran through the memories of his childhood school mate. More than often, she was by herself. Always there, but always just outside of whatever was going on. An armed pressed a book to her then-whole chest. Her eyes constantly explored the room and when they met another pair, explored the soul.

Her brown hair curled around her face and her bangs fell just above her glasses and it was hard not to notice her when she walked into the room. She never thought anyone noticed her, but he did. Not because he was in love with her, oh no he was too blinded by Iris, but because she was always calm and quiet and _there_. And to him, that spoke louder than words.

Of course she was there for him now. Oh, Ella. Her eyes fell shut and he felt cheated that that could possibly be the last time he saw them.

"Barry," her last breath barely forming the word before the corner of her lips turned up in a slight smile and his breath caught as the hand he hadn't realized he was holding fell away.

Of course she knew. Ella always knew. His eyes slid shut and he didn't move. Time, normally passing too fast, stopped.

And when Barry opened his eyes, he didn't see Ella there anymore. He saw his mother. He didn't save her and it ate away his soul. The back of his eyes began to burn.

But then anger filled him. Barry let it happen again. He let someone else die for him. Again. He was always the coward. Never fast enough…

Barry's hand suddenly began to crackle. He stared at them for a moment in a dazed expression. What are they doing now? His dazed look quickly turned into horror as static sparked from his hands and began zapping Ella. He tried to back away and break the connection, but it just kept coming before turning into a single, sizzling thread of light- of lightning, so bright that it made Barry's eyes ache. It began flowing under her skin, causing her grow just as bright as a lightning bolt.

Finally, in a last ditch effort, Barry used his speed to break away. With a loud pop and a heavy stinging in the air, he finally pulled the connection away, but not without leaving a smoking trail behind him. Cautiously, he returned to Ella's body, but kept his distance. It was like her blood was on white-hot fire and she grew so bright, Barry couldn't even look at her.

She was going to explode. It was going to be too much for her delicate skin and in seconds she won't be in one piece and it'd be all Barry's fault.

He truly couldn't do anything right.

The light overtook her and Barry fell to his knees in despair. Ella had died for him and now he was destroying her body and it all was just a little too much. His eyes shut as white light pierced them and soon he was engulfed in the lightning soon to explode from her body.

And then in one big whoosh, the light sucked itself back into Ella and this time the air cackled with static electricity. She jerked like she was being shocked and a gasp escaped her.

Barry rushed to her side and pulled the top of her shirt away, where a pale jagged line replaced a gaping bullet hole. Ella breathed evenly now, but didn't open her eyes.

Cold terror ran through him now. What had he done?

"Ella? Ella, can you hear me?" Barry finally said, barely speaking above a whisper.

Suddenly his friend's voices bursted through his ears.

* * *

"Barry! Talk to me, man," Cisco yelled, his fingers pulling on his long hair. He forgot to breathe as he waited for his friend's answer.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Caitlin asked, her voice taut with worry. "Ella? Who's Ella? … Barry?" Her lips pursed and her body stood rigid. Even when she heard him take a long breath, she didn't allow herself to relax.

"Guys…" Barry began in a tone of disbelief but he trailed off, and dread filled their stomachs, and he stuttered out, "I just- I just brought her back to life."


	2. The Day She Died

**CHAPTER ONE: THE DAY SHE DIED**

Nobody could have prevented Ella from dying really. Well, other than the person who shot her, of course. Barry could think "oh I wasn't fast enough" all he wanted but she would never blame him. It's her own fault, really, for being the way she was. There are things she can blame him for, but surely not for her dying that first time.

The day hadn't started any different from any other day. Ella had her routine going. Her life was sleep, coffee, books, and repeat.

She saw Barry most mornings at Jitters. He often stood in line with Cisco, with his animated face and warm eyes. He always gave Ella a reason to smile, even if they've never really spoken. Sometimes Barry came with Caitlin, with her rigid posture but sweet smile. She cared so much for the people in her life and it made Ella so glad people like that existed.

As for Ella herself, she sat in a comfy chair, tucked in the corner of the cozy coffee shop. It isn't just Barry and his friends that she watches, though it was the highlight of her day. It's really everybody that walks in between 8-8:30am. It's the girl named Marissa that comes in every morning before school with a bright smile but sad eyes because her mother is in the hospital. Or Jim from the car shop a block over with a stern face but is in the middle of his wife divorcing him. How does Ella know these things? No one tells her, but fading into the background is a talent of hers. Her little corner is where angry phone calls or private conversations are taken.

Why does she listen like this? Well, what else was she going to do? She didn't connect well with others. Ella was quiet around people she didn't know, but could never get to the point of actually knowing the person. She was always friendly to everyone she encountered, but nothing ever made it to a personal level. Often times past the "hi, how are you's" and the "fine, thank you's", she's at a loss of words. It's like her brain flat lines all activity and she couldn't even speak her name.

So she just listens instead. It also gives her comfort… she'll tell herself because she listens when no one thinks anyone is listening, maybe somebody was listening to her when she thought no one was. Maybe somebody has connected with her but she just hasn't met them yet because they're just as quiet as her.

Or maybe she's doomed to live in the loft above her work with Leonardo DiCatprio; her brown tabby cat, currently the only man in her life. Ella is an only child, sees her parents on holidays, and somehow she's managed to hold on to some friends from the year she spent away at college, but only a text here and there, before dropping out and returning home when her grandmother died.

Her grandma, Adeline Winters had been a loving women. Always so patient with crinkly laugh lines around her eyes and arms always ready for a hug. Ella adored her. Grandma never pressured her to be more open or to speak when she didn't want to. She was always encouraged to have a book in her hands when she was at Grandma's, which wasn't particularly hard considering Grandma had owned a bookstore, passed down from her father before her. In the summer before 9th grade, Ella got a job there and spent every waking and not at school moment there, all the way up before the day she left for college at 19.

Ella had no idea how Grandma could produce someone like her mother but she somehow did. Maybe her mom took after her father, who Ella never met. Grandma always encouraged her to follow her dreams, her mother always encouraged to find a job that made the most money. And working at Addy's Bookstore was not where she was going to make the most money.

It was the saddest day of Ella's life when her grandmother died. Her mother called her right before her morning class started and she dropped everything and left, and never came back. Grandma left her the bookstore and encouraged her yet again to follow her dreams with a special note she keeps locked away in her apartment. So she dropped out, took a business class at the community college, and the rest is history.

Not many 24 year olds can say they own a successful bookstore in Central City, but she was happy she could.

So 8-8:30am was coffee/people watching. 9am-8pm was books. Two hours of free time till 10pm that normally consisted of takeout and Netflix, and then there was sleep till 6am, and her day started over again.

But the night she died her free time was her tied to a chair in an empty room, with cuts streaking blood down her face and dripping down her arms. A now-painted red blade was held comfortably in the hand of a masked figure, and they sliced another tiny slit in her whenever she screamed "I don't know!" when asked, "Who is the Flash!?"

There was just one piece missing from the equation, one thing she wasn't able to understand. Somehow someone knew that she knew Barry's secret but the thing is, nobody knew that she knew. Nobody. Ella is a good secret keeper; always has and always will. She hadn't uttered one word to anybody about the identity of the Flash, not even to Iris, who sometimes stops by the bookstore.

So how did they know?

* * *

All Wells/Eobard/whatever you wanted to call him wanted was to get back to his time and that was all he would exchange for telling Barry how to time travel back in time to save his mother. Except when he went back in time to do it, the future him slowed down just long enough to shake his head no, and then take past him out of the room, and down the street to safety. Which left him alone with his mother and he got to be the last thing she saw before dying.

Barry didn't save her. It haunted him every day and every night. He was right there and didn't save her. And it wasn't more than an hour later that someone else he loved died and he couldn't save him. He was suppose to be a superhero. He was suppose to save people. But if he couldn't save the people closest to him, then what was the point?

It was quiet in the lab today. All there was to hear was Cisco typing away at the computer. Barry really didn't know what he was doing here, but it was better than at home with his family, who never asked them, but looked at him with questions in their eyes. Somehow Cisco could look at him with no questions. He wasn't sure how his friend understood, but he was sure that's where he wanted to be just then. Barry did have plans of actually doing something, some training, anything, but all he could muster was to just stand there, trapped in memories.

And then there was a beep at one of Cisco's computers and his typing stopped. "Barry, there's a kidnapping at Addy's Bookstore, the one-the one in front of Jitters, and oh! Hold on…" The typing began again, more frantic this time, and he spoke again, "Ella Peterson. Tracking her phone… there it is. Man, this seems like a trap. There is a clean cut trail to where she is."

Barry was already dressed as the Flash when he leaned over the computer to look at the file at the screen and the map of the city below. A green dot flashed right outside of town. He knew Ella… "I went to school with her, Cisco. She—" He wasn't even sure what he was going to say about her, but his phone vibrated on the table where he left it, and he went over to check it.

It was an unread message from Joe. _Turn on the news. I'm tied up at the station with this. We need to know your next move._

After repeating the text to Cisco, he brought up the station on his computer. The broadcast was in the middle of a video, one featuring a masked man and an electronically deep voice. How original.

"… We've made it easy for the Flash to come find us… not so much for anyone else. However if the Flash decides his life is worth more than this friend of his… well, we do know we have plenty more to choose from. Some of these people are average Joe's, some stand out like irises among dandelions. Others, the brains behind the Flash's success. But we figure we won't need to take such drastic measures. We figure Ella Peterson will be enough."

Barry stiffened at the threats of his friends. His average Joes and Irises among dandelions. His brains. He ran a hand over his head.

"I don't know whether I should be freaked out or honored as being recognized as the brains…" Cisco said drily.

"I've always worried for you and Caitlin. Iris and Joe. This is," Barry let out a sigh, trying to release the pressure on his chest, "this is my worst nightmare. But Ella doesn't know anything…"

"Well, he sure thinks so," his friend commented, eyeing the masked man on the screen.

"But like, seriously man, I see her every once in a while at Jitters or Addy's… and in school, I mean, we were cool. But we weren't friends… but she didn't seem to have any," Barry remembered out loud, perplexed. What was he walking into? Could it be possible she knew something?

"Am I a horrible person to just be relieved it's not Caitlin or Iris there right now?" Cisco asked with a slightly guilty expression.

Something panged at Barry's heart for that comment. "She was always… special. Always so sweet. Ella was just there, all the time. She rarely said a word, but there was always a smile, and that was enough."

"Well, Caitlin or Iris… or _me_ , will be next if we don't make a move on this. What's the plan?"

"I'm going to get her," Barry replied, simply. "Find out why this jerk wants me and how it involves Ella. It definitely ends with her."

Barry quickly replied to Joe in a text message before leaving, _I'm going in._

* * *

Ella's eyes rolled into her head as she tried to stay conscious. The ropes rubbing her wrists raw were pointless at this point… she couldn't feel her body. But that didn't mean she didn't feel anything, just not her body. She felt the cuts running down her arms and legs and the bruises lining her ribs and back.

They kept asking her question but she was past the point of answering. There was no thought process, she barely even remembered why she was there. There was just one image in her mind. A face. With bright eyes and an excited smile.

"Dammit!" the deep voice of her tormenter exclaimed, from a thousand miles away. There was a sudden whoosh and a gasp escaped Ella as air rushed all around her and she toppled over the ground. Her shoulder rammed into the hard ground, narrowly avoiding her head banging against the floor. The fall jolted her eyes open, but the whole room just spun out of control.

Ella didn't know how much time had past when her wrists fell out of her restraints and she was gently brought up to a sitting position. Her eyes had closed themselves again, which she had been grateful for because the world stopped spinning when they shut, but she found she had trouble opening them again. And she wanted to know what was going on now.

"Ella? Ella, can you hear me?" A voice asked, a new one—one etched with worry and concern, one that always made Ella feel wanted. His face burned in her mind but she couldn't form his name. "I'm going to get you out of here, just hold on." He tried to pick her up, but she was floppy like a rag doll, and his lanky arms had issues trying to grip her. The movement startled her into a more comprehending state. Ella let out a heavy breath and slowly opened her eyes. Barry. Barry stood before her. There was a look of confusion in his eyes and he opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted from someone behind him.

"We knew you'd come," the masked man suddenly began, "We knew the girl would bring you here. She's your weakness, isn't she, Flash? Though I got a bit worried that maybe I was getting a little ahead of myself; I don't often know the full story or when it begins, but good to know I was wrong."

Barry stiffened and carefully put her back down. He turned around to face Ella's captor and stood protectively in front of bloodied girl. "What does Ella have to do with me? She's innocent in all of this."

A look of curiosity flashed across his face. "Or perhaps I was right. The two of you haven't hooked up yet? Why'd you come running then, boy?" He asked this as an honest question, and leaned in earnestly, waiting for an answer.

The Flash didn't say anything, unsure of what to say. What this man was saying wasn't making much sense… Ella and him hook up? She's going to be his weakness? Even Ella was confused at the words coming from his mouth. It would work so much better if this situation was in reverse. Then this whole thing would make more sense.

"Who are you?" Barry decided to not answer the questions, even in the slightest.

He smirked and replied, "You can call me the Decree. Your friend Cisco will get a kick out of that, eh?"

The Flash cocked his head a moment, causing Ella to wonder if Cisco was listening in. Slowly and quietly, she pushed herself up into a sitting position, and then paused. She tried to be patient as the world spun and tried to right itself, but it was really getting annoying.

Barry was feeling annoyed as well, but probably for different reasons. His voice was tight as he said, "So, what's your deal? Couple years ago, did you get hit by a bright light?"

Degree laughed out loud this time. "That particle explosion you speak of was only a means to an end. This was destined. Just as you were to get your powers, I was to get mine. There is just one thing Fate has kept from me. One thing, and I tend to find out before your night is over."

Shrugging, the Flash quipped, "You surely aren't learning anything new from me." He'd had just enough of this and wanted this threat to his friends to be locked away.

"Oh, but it's so easy. Just a few little words and your friend here walks free," Degree taunted, like he stood a chance at defeating Barry, but if the prophecy was the only thing going for him, they could be out of here in two seconds flat. Though he knew better than to underestimate him. "Just tell me your name."

"Or I could just grab Ella and go," Barry replied after a pause. All of this, for his name? No way.

A hand clamped down on Ella's mouth, startling a scream out of her that got stuck in her throat. An arm wrapped around her body and jerked her to her feet, holding her in a tight grip.

"Oh, I forgot to mention one thing. Ella may leave, but you're not getting out of this alive," Decree said, with mock chagrin. Immediately, Barry turned around to Ella and another man, this time not masked, but he held her like a shield. His face was lined with jagged scars and his lips formed a thin line. He held a gun to her head.

The split second Barry took to plan his next move, to wonder if he was fast enough to grab Ella before the man shot her, but turns out this new player was also a quick thinker, or perhaps this was all part of his plan. With a flick of his eyes, the ropes that had once tied Ella's hands to a chair, were repaired and snaking their way around his legs, and with a sudden jerk, Barry was face down on the floor.

Ella's eyes widened and she bit her tongue from screaming out his name. He was sitting up in an instant, but the more he pulled at the ropes around his legs, the more they dig into them. A soft cry of pain escaped his lips before his hands fell away.

"Enough with the games, Carter. Fate withheld this from you with no doubt a purpose. It would be in your best interest not to test her," the sorcerer warned, before adding, "The Flash's identity isn't of importance to you anymore, as any future you saw of him will be obsolete."

He let Ella go and she fell to her knees. The cold terror running through her body sharpened her mind and when the room began to tilt, she still forced herself to stand. She blinked repeatedly till the three men in the room were on the floor and not on the ceiling.

The scarred man took a deliberate step towards Barry, and Ella frantically searched the room for something to use as a weapon. The closest thing was the metal chair that she had been tied to.

The next couple seconds/minutes/hours happened so fast and slowly all at once that Ella could never give an exact answer as to what happened.

But she lifted the chair and jabbed one of the legs into the man's back. He crumpled to the floor, but managed to wave a hand, slinging the chair against the wall. The impact caused the gun to hit the ground with a resonating clatter.

Decree and Ella both made a dive for it, but somehow she gripped it first. Rolling away, she stumbled to her feet, and aimed for the person coming at her with a vengeance. Without a second thought, she pulled her finger back and a bullet shot out, hitting the sorcerer with a loud crack. He flew back, hitting the ground, and the sound rang in her ears.

Ella stood there, frozen. Horrified at what she had done. She was not a killer, a murderer. She couldn't breathe. And the price of that mistake took her life away. For Decree was all of those things, and he quickly overcame her.

He stole the gun from her hand and turned towards Barry who was still struggling with the ropes. Now embedded, he cut the rope to at the very least separate his legs with a vibrating hand. But he didn't know Decree was coming for him yet.

Ella did though and she loved him. Iris loved him. Joe loved him. Cisco and Caitlin. The world would be something terrible without Barry.

The world would not be something terrible without her.

"Nooo!" the word escaped her lips as she caught up with Decree. As she dove in front of Barry, as the other man aimed a shot for the love of her life's heart.

As he pulled the trigger.

She expected pain. For a quarter of a second, she did felt it, but when she hit the ground, her body went cold.

The blood dripping from her lips was warm. The same warmth that filled her chest.

"Barry…" the sweet name was the last thing one her lips, causing them to upturn. At least Ella's final thoughts will be of him.

She shut her eyes as they became too heavy to keep open. But Barry's face will forever be etched in her mind.

The warmth in her mouth and the warmth around her heart engulfed her body and then

she

forgot

There wasn't anything now. No thoughts, no time, no feelings, no sights. Nothing. Nothing to see.

Until there was. There was a bright light and it rose from the bottom to the top like a sunrise.

White. Whitewhitewhitewhite.

And then there was burning. It grew and faded and shifted and changed and turned into something else. The burning turned into cold, sudden shocks, all throughout her body. Ping ping ping ping.

With a sudden whoosh, the white and the shocks pulled out of her body, taking a long gasp of air with it. Blackness overcame her yet again, but it was different this time.

But her lungs had begun working again.

"Ella? Ella, can you hear me?" The words echoed, like the voice was down the a long hall, and was yelling so she could hear.

"Guys… I just- I just brought her back to life."

The darkness didn't leave Ella. From then on, sometimes she heard voices. A female voice, a male voice.

A special voice.

But there was no thought process. Just feeling, especially when Special Voice spoke.

Then female voice turned into Caitlin and male voice was Cisco.

And special voice was Barry. Ella began remembering. The more she remembered, the more she heard. The more aware she was.

Soon she felt her chest rise and fall. She felt someone holding her hand. And she remembered words that were spoken.

That were meant for her, but not for her to hear. But what's too new with that?

Ella was alone when her eyes finally opened. She blinked repeatedly and breathed so deeply she felt lightheaded.

And then she felt the skin above her heart. She felt the puckered scar and before she wondered too much longer about what was going on, Caitlin walked into the room.

"Oh! I saw the spike in your vitals. Ella, you must have so many questions, but I want you to know you're safe here," She said as she rushed over to Ella.

"Is…" Ella tried to speak, but her voice came out as a croak. She cleared her voice and tried again, "Is Barry okay?" Her voice was still hoarse, but it did it's job.

The other girl bit her lip and thought a moment. "Decree didn't hurt him, thanks to you." There was an edge in Caitlin's voice that made Ella feel like she wasn't getting the whole story.

"… has someone else hurt him?" Ella asked in a weak voice.

"Yes," Caitlin barely breathed the word, caught up in memory of 'that night'.

"You've truly picked a damn good time to wake up, Ella," Cisco said, strolling into the room.

"What happened to Barry?" Ella persisted, panic building where a bullet hole should have been.

"There is man that has speed like Barry… and he's got power like you can't even imagine," Caitlin finally answered in a soft voice, unable to meet her eyes.

Cisco gave Ella a hard look. "We'll explain but first, let's see how you're fairing. Some… interesting stuff has happened while you were out."

"Like what?"

"Look down at your hands," He said, pointing with his chin, and she did.

Ella's eyes shone with horror as she brought her hands up. Her fingertips sparked. Little white streaks popped out and she didn't know what to do.

"These are harmless, don't worry," Caitlin quickly assured.

Though Cisco was quick to say, "It's the ones that come from not your fingertips that aren't."

Which of course didn't help the situation. He knew immediately from Ella's wide eyes.

"But don't worry, those right there are harmless," He quickly said.

Ella just turned her eyes back to her fingers. What is happening to her?

* * *

 **AN:** hey guys! so I started watching the Flash about a month ago... and between working 60 hours with 3 jobs, I got caught up in about a week. it's quickly become of my favorite shows and I tend to write fanfiction for my favorite shows. So here I am! I hope you like it. please please please let me know! -Anna :)


	3. Waking Up To A New World

**CHAPTER TWO: WAKING UP TO A NEW WORLD**

It really was seeming like Ella would ever wake up. Sometimes she sparked and sometimes lightning caught equipment on fire but never did her eyes open. The world outside hers fell apart and realigned and fell apart again. The "falling apart again" being when Zoom so easily overcame him, so easily brought him to the brink of death, and then preceded to parade it all over the city, holding Barry by the neck, like he was nothing more than a rag doll.

When he shut his eyes, images of him broken replaced images of his mother broken, and he didn't know which was worse… images of absolute terror or images of absolute heartbreak.

Since waking up in the hospital wing of the lab a couple days after the fight with Zoom, and remembering what had taken place, Barry wasn't sure he was ever going to walk again. He would never be this truthful with anyone, but he almost didn't want to walk again.

But he did. In the two week since the fight, he's gone from bedridden to wheelchair, then graduated from wheelchair to a cane. Now he's at a rather normal state, which for anyone else would be great, but since he's normally far from normal, it isn't. But super speed aside, he can walk, though rather stiffly; as his bones aren't 100% knitted back together yet.

Ella wasn't healing the same way. No one was able to comprehend what he did to her; not even Harry, and Jay hasn't been around to offer his input (Barry wasn't sure if these new friends of his fell into the 'realigning' or 'falling apart' bit of the last couple months).

They could get more answers if she would open her eyes, but every time Barry came in and sat with her, they didn't move. She didn't move. Things around her did, but she stayed the same. Though he didn't know if her ears worked, he talked to her a lot. He felt silly at first, like speaking to her was just the same as speaking to himself, but it wasn't. Or it felt like it wasn't. Each time Barry came to visit her, words flowed naturally out of his mouth, all the words containing the fears, the worries, and the self-doubt.

Even if she wasn't unconscious, Barry thought Ella would listen just the same. He could imagine her eyebrows knitting together in concern or her sweet voice giving him encouragement. He always saw how kind she was to people; in school and now, how she tried to make everyone feel wanted.

Sometimes Barry did just quietly watched her, mulling over what Decree has said pertaining to Ella and him. Decree always wanted control, always wanted the upper hand, and when the particle accelerator exploded, he got just that. The knowledge of the future. Though he spoke of it being Fate as if she was an actual being he has met, it didn't change the fact he got what he wanted: control. He knew how to control Barry before Barry even knew she was a thing that could control him.

Ella was also someone who had control and the upper hand, but she didn't long for it. She never used it for manipulation or to get what she wanted. She used it to give other people what they wanted. Even now, in a coma and unable to consciously do it, she was there for Barry.

And if he wasn't pondering over their future together or running from his nightmares, Barry was thinking about how she could possibly know his secret. He'd never forget how his name was to be her last breath. He'd never forget the small smile that overtook her face before life left her body. He'd never forget the life leaving her body and how he yet again stole someone's future away…

Except he didn't. How did he give it back to her?

* * *

"I know you want to go and see your family, your bookstore, but there are still so many things that are so uncertain. It would be best if you stayed here a little while longer. We need to make sure you're in control and we could really run some more tests…" Caitlin spoke in a gentle voice and Ella wanted to listen, for all she was saying was out of concern for her, but Ella just needed everything to be normal.

She needs to cuddle her cat, Leo. She needs to call her parents. She needs to feel the rough texture of a hardback book in her hands and have the smell of new pages overcome her. But most of all, she needs her fingers to stop tingling. She needs the random lightning bolts dropping from the ceiling to cease. She needs the jagged scar across her chest to be gone.

And it's really hitting Ella hard that she really shouldn't be needing anything. That the hole where the bullet pierced her lung should still be there. That she should hidden under a pile of dirt in a black coffin, covered in flowers, and a gravestone that said 'Ella Grace Peterson, beloved daughter, granddaughter, and mother to her cat'.

But instead she was trying to remember how to breathe as Caitlin listed all the things they needed to do before she could leave. Before she could back to her normal life.

 _Things will never be the same_. Ella squeezed her eyes shut with that thought and then followed up with, "But I still have to try to make it that way."

"I'm sorry, what?" Caitlin broke off her spiel to understand Ella's random outburst.

"I can't do this. I can't not be normal. I don't… I don't care, I just can't," Ella tried to explain herself but the words kept getting jumbled up. She repeated, "I just can't," before bolting out of the medical room.

She turned a corner, and then another. And another and another. It wasn't long before her legs decided to give up and she collapsed to the ground, letting out a sob.

The air around Ella began to cackle and became heavy with electricity. Another sob fell out but it wasn't the only unexpected thing. Suddenly a blinding lightning bolt struck the ground beside her and she flinched back against the wall. Another hit the ground in front of her. Ella's vision swam in and out of view as she looked in horror at the scorched marks left on the otherwise white, unblemished tile. What was wrong with her?

What did Barry do to her?

As if she imagined him there, he just appeared. "Ella, hey—"

"Barry, leave me. I can't- I can't control it, it just k-k-keeps coming…" Her teeth chattered alongside the cold terror that ran through her body. Her panicked eyes met his.

"You're wrong. You can control it," Barry knelt down next to her and spoke gently, "Take a slow breath…" He instructed, but Ella couldn't move. She was paralyzed by her fear. "Ella, listen to me. Take a slow breath, count to five."

She tried but her "slow breath" was a short, gasping one. All of her "slow breaths" were short, gasping ones.

"Slower. Slower…" He repeated after each breath with a soothing hand on her leg, and his calm voice slowly warmed her up. "Slower… one, two, three, four, five. Now hold it, five more seconds."

The knot in her chest began to unravel as she followed his directions.

"And breathe out. One, two, three, four, five."

Ella didn't know how long she sat in that hall with Barry squatting beside her. She didn't know when he stopped speaking but his low voice still played in her ear. The crackling air began to dissipate and the panic left her, leaving her exhaustedly confused.

"Barry, what happened?" She finally asked in a quiet voice and he flinched like Ella had screamed at him.

"Ella, I'm so sorry," Barry replied, voice breaking. "I have no idea… I just- I've just seen so much death, and I just keep failing in protecting the people I love. I don't deserve them. I don't deserve you. I don't know how you connect in to all of this…" He tried to explain but this whole mess was a jumbled bunch of thoughts in his mind. He didn't know where to begin.

Ella let out a bitter laugh. "That freak who took me surely knew how I was connected to all of this." She thought back to his comments about her and Barry. Could her wildest dreams actually come true? "He was a seer. He could predict the future."

Barry nodded slowly, and Ella got a heavy feeling he was holding something back. "What are you not telling me?"

He hesitated, knowing neither him nor Ella would know what would set her off in a panic attack again. "Decree got away," he finally admitted, causing Ella to close her eyes again.

Count to five.

Repeat.

The man who shot her, but was after Barry, was still lose? There was a target on both of their backs!

"You had just gotten shot and I went to you, and then… then static filled the air and I started zapping you with lightning bolts from my fingers. I don't know but it like, took hold, and we were connected by one lightning bolt. It was massive, powerful. Whatever happened then, is what gave you these," He paused, voice laced with guilt, as he tried to find the right word, "Powers."

"Powers…" Ella echoed faintly, eyes still shut. "They don't feel like powers. They feel… like a curse."

It was Barry's turn to shut his eyes. "Don't say that," he whispered in a broken voice. "God, Ella, I'm so sorry."

She opened her eyes to look at him and took one last deep breath, and then she did what she always did: make the hurt disappear. "Barry, don't be. It… it's my fault. I knew too much. I always know too much. I always see things I shouldn't and I always have the burden of a secret on my heart. My bullet-free heart." It was Ella's turn to get choked up, even though she was just trying to comfort him. "You saved my life, Barry. It was because of your secret I was kidnapped, but it was my knowledge of it that got me in trouble, and it was you that saved me from dying. Thank you, because of that I can hug my cat, I can read my books, and I can see my parents. And I'm pretty sure I gained a few friends, because I'm not letting you guys out of my sight for a bit. Not till we figure this out."

"I don't want you out of my sight…" Barry said quietly, making Ella look away. "I promise I will help you through this, no matter who is to blame here. Cisco and Caitlin are so smart and they've been dealing with me for a while now. They can help you too, and then Harry… it's a bit complicated where Harry's involved but I think his intentions are good. And you know Iris and Joe… they're part of this too. You'll never be alone, Ella."

She took a long, slow breath before pushing herself up. "That's quite a promise, Barry," Ella warned, but she was fighting a smile.

Back in the medical room, Ella sat in a hospital bed. She stared blankly ahead as Caitlin carefully drew blood from her arm. Tears burned her eyes and her heart pounded, but with Barry holding her other hand, she managed not to strike anyone down. Though if given the choice, she'd probably strike herself down. For she had been watching when Caitlin first began and instead of the vial filling with red when the needle pierced her skin, it filled with silver.

"Oh. Wow," Caitlin muttered in surprise before catching Ella's horrified eyes, "I've seen weirder things, trust me, Ella." A soft smile appeared in comfort on Barry's friend's face and he took that moment to come from leaning on the glass wall and join in trying to calm Ella down.

"It looks like lightning, which you seem to have a talent with. Just a side effect," Barry reasoned, but sat next to her and squeezed her hand just the same, because the light had left Ella's eyes, causing any hope in his to flicker. She didn't say a word for the next couple minutes.

Nor did Ella say a word when Caitlin finished, and she didn't say a word as she followed them out of the med room to the lab room, where Cisco leaned over a computer, bringing up all her old medical files as the new samples loaded.

"So you nearly killing us in your coma aside, this power of yours is pretty cool," Cisco commented, nonchalantly, to Ella. "I mean, being able to control lightning? Kind of classic superhero power. But I feel like 'Lightning' as a superhero name would be kinda lame. Plus we can't add like doctor, because you weren't a doctor. Though Dr. Lightning does actually sound pretty sweet…"

Cisco rambled on, unaware that Ella's brown eyes grew wider and wider, so Barry cut him off, "Hey Cisco, buddy, I feel like we're getting a bit ahead of ourselves."

"What?" Cisco finally looked up and saw Ella's expression, "Ohhh. Okay." The moment grew awkward as no one knew what to say next, causing Ella to rub her eyes.

"I feel like such a fragile thing. Like I could crack at any second, and I really, really don't want to be," Ella said as her hands fell back to her side. "So stop treating me as something breakable. If you guys can act like I am, then I can act like I am, and maybe one day I can believe it too."

Two things happened in that next moment that caused the team to not reply to Ella's plea: the computer closes to where Caitlin sat dinged, signaling bloodwork was done. She immediately began to analyze the report.

"This is insane…" She mumbled, lost in Ella's silver blood results.

Simultaneously, the computer closed to Cisco beeped, signaling something amok in the city. He squinted at the screen as he read the police report, causing Cisco to swallow.

"Kidnapping with a ransom. Location: the saw mill right outside of town," He debriefed, but before Barry could even say 'on it', a yelp escaped from Ella.

Turning to her, Barry saw in his slow motion way of his, her skin burning white and melting into a jagged streak, bolting to the ceiling. And then she was gone.

Static sizzled in the air, a common repercussion of when Ella's lightning is used.

"Okay, yeah. That was pretty awesome," Cisco said in awe, though while, all right, it had been rather breathtaking, terror filled Barry more than anything.

Because Ella was gone. Disappeared in a lightning bolt through the ceiling.

Where did she go?

* * *

 _ **AN:**_ _thank you guys for the support! I know my updates are pretty sporadic. you didn't think I'd ever post another chapter, did you? (I don't blame you, I wondered right up till I finished it) please bear with me though! I work so much that I don't have a lot of time to sit down and write but writing is my escape and I need to do it or I'll go crazy. I hoped you liked this chapter! let me know :D - Anna_


	4. Fighting For Control

**CHAPTER THREE: FIGHTING FOR CONTROL**

Ella was pretty dang scared when suddenly her body tingled and she shot through the ceiling when Cisco mentioned the saw mill and it appeared in her mind's eye.

But 'pretty dang scared' went to 'piss your pants terrified' in two seconds flat. Maybe subconsciously, she thought, _I've been_ there _, they need help, get them out…_ but that hadn't necessary meant she wanted to be the one to help them and get them out. Ella couldn't even control her fingertips from sparking, why would her subconscious want to take on a group of kidnappers when she'd just woken up from a coma from being kidnapped?

Well, either way, that's what happened next. One minute Ella is worriedly eyeing Cisco, and the next, she's on her knees behind a bunch of men with guns, and four kids curled on the floor. An unexpected giggle threatened to bubble out of her because she didn't know who was more shocked she was there: them or Ella, but look on their faces was a funny sight to see, even in these current circumstances.

"She's here!" Someone finally yelled, "Get her! Alive, he wants her alive!" And they all pounced on little, untrained Ella and she was frozen in place like a deer caught in headlights.

"Oh, crap," She muttered as her mind raced to find a way out of this situation. As in many other times in her life, though normally they were when someone said something funny and she wanted to have a witty response, but instead her brain flat lines all activity, and she's left with even her name threatening to float from her mind.

Unfortunately for all involved, Ella went into her new-found survival mood, and she will regret the next couple minutes for the rest of her life.

As one man charged at her, a lightning bolt fell from the ceiling, striking him with a pop. He fell down, crying out in pain, as the sizzling of flesh echoed in Ella's ears. But that didn't stop her fingers from shooting out direct bolts of lightning, hitting each person that tried to take the fallen man's place.

Her whole body began tingling with power and Ella found she liked it. It was a warm burn and it didn't forcibly take over, it slowly grew till she wanted it. Till Ella craved it and she easily gave in.

* * *

"She just… just bolted out of here! Like a literal steak of lightning bolt, not like super speed bolt. Ella went through the ceiling!" Cisco tried to recap the incident to Harry, though his fanboy excitement took over his voice, rather than concern for his new friend's safety. He realized that, a bit too late. "We're all very worried where she could be now," he added in a more somber voice.

Harry just pursed his lips, shooting Cisco a look he was used to: _are you serious_? "What was going on before she bolted out?" Harry asked with an impassive face. He stared intently at Cisco as he thought back to what was happening.

"Ella was... asking to be treated normal, and then I beeped for the Flash, and Caitlin dinged for the finished blood results," Cisco answered, eyebrows furrowing as he recounted.

"Maybe she went to the saw mill to help with the kidnapping. Ella does have personal experience in that," Barry suggested, remembering finding Ella tied up to a chair that had fallen over. He took a breath to stop all memories from that night to come flooding in.

"That does seem most logical," Caitlin put in with a thoughtful voice, pushing the bloodwork out of her mind for the moment. She can explain what she found later when Ella is safe and sound. It wasn't a pressing matter like the situation at hand.

"I have to go there anyways… keep a look out for spikes in static electricity. I'm on my way," Barry said, and then he was running full force to the other side of town. The worry of what he was going to find once he got there ate away in his mind. He wasn't there to help her stay in control… what if she lost it?

Outside the mill was eerily quiet and Barry padded softly in. "I'm here," He whispered to his friends back in the lab. "Something seems… off."

"Stay on your guard, Barry, and keep us posted," Harry's voice came through his earpiece. Barry didn't reply, as a low noise hit his ears. He carefully continued on, but his steps got more frantic the deeper he got in the building, as the low noise got louder and shriller. His blood ran cold when he realized it was screaming. Someone was screaming.

Barry flew in the room then and found three children surrounded by a lot of burned bodies. He swallowed.

Ella lost control.

* * *

Ella's lightning high crashed too long after the last bad guy was killed. She was still on high alert when one of the kids came running towards her and the lightning bolt shot from her hands before she even registered that it was a child running at her.

Somewhere in Ella's mind knew fighting the men was self-defense and it was the same part of her mind that told her this was wrong.

The scream that came from the kid shut Ella down immediately and after letting out a scream of her own, she managed to break the connection with a resounding crack. The child- a boy, fell limp on the ground.

It took a painstaking long moment to realize the boy had stopped screaming and it was now coming out of Ella's mouth.

"Oh my God, Ella…" A voice startled her from behind, but she was drained now. Whoever came now should just kill her. She was out of control.

 _OhmyGodEllaohmyGodEllaohmyGodElla_

Ella didn't know if she was thinking that or screaming that or if maybe Barry was yelling it at her, but that's all she heard.

Barry was always there, for the good and the bad. And the ugly.

Everyone would be safer if she wasn't around and this time she thought, _take me from here,_ and her body listened to her.

When Ella hit the ground again, she was in the woods outside the mill. She knew Barry could take care of the children till the police came. She could already hear the sirens.

 _Murderer_ , her mind whispered to her. Murderer. Murder was worse than kidnapping and Ella thought they had deserved to die.

But no matter what she thought, she was scared.

Of the men she killed. Of the parents of the little boy she burned. Of Barry. Cisco. Caitlin.

She was scared to live. She was scared to die. She was scared to be alone.

Ella stumbled over to a tree and slid down it to sit. Pulling her knees to her chin, she covered her eyes and cried.

In every way in this situation, she was a coward.

* * *

"Flash!" cried a small, shaky voice. The curled up children suddenly came alive and pushed their way to their feet. Barry met the kids where they stood.

He took a breath through his mouth before he could say calmly, "Are you guys hurt?"

They shook their heads while one replied, "No, but the boy over there was hit by lightning!" He pointed over to the pile of men. Barry didn't realize before that one of the bodies was much smaller than the rest.

He took another breath.

"You guys stay right here. Everything will be okay," Barry said, though for him everything didn't feel okay. Hitting the men with lightning bolts was one thing, but a child? How did that happen? He used his super-speed to check out the unmoving boy. His visible skin was pink and raw.

Slowly, for he was scared for what he was going to find, Barry placed two fingers on the kid's fleshy neck, but flinched away when a scream escaped the boy.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Barry cried, and the boy started gasping. "Stay still, buddy, it's going to be okay."

"Hurts" was all the child could mumble, causing Barry to wince with sympathy pain.

"I know, buddy. Stay still, it's going to be okay," Barry tried to comfort before putting a hand to his mouth in horror. "Help is almost here. Can you hear them?" The sirens were audible in the building now.

The boy didn't say anything and Barry just looked at him.

A little voice whispered in his mind, _she did just wake up and she has no idea how to control her powers_ but at the sight before him, a louder voice overpowered that one by saying, _but how well do you know Ella? Maybe her soul-exploring eyes, maybe her sweet personality, was just all an act._ He should listen the voice of reason rather than the voice of doubt, but logic isn't a strong point when you're scared of your future. And he was scared silly.

Barry's thoughts got cut off at the sound of the CCPD entering the building. He shook his head to clear his head and focus at the task at hand. Very carefully, he picked up the boy, and used his super-speed to take him to the hospital, only pausing for a millisecond to tell Joe what he was doing.

Once the child was in safe hands, he quickly swung back around to find Ella. However, after locating her curled up against a tree, he found he couldn't even look at her.

Barry swore to use his powers for good, but Ella had no allegiance. Even though her cries and crumpled body told another story, he let these dark thoughts of her pool in and takeover, because for a moment, he was tired of trusting people. He was so tired of getting hurt… of the people he loved getting hurt. He was just… so tired.

What if Ella can't control her powers? She's not a meta-human created from the particular explosion, not really. Barry created her powers. Barry brought her back from the dead. Even if the Ella he knew was genuine, did coming back from the dead change her in any way?

There were people's lives at stake and if he made the wrong choice in trusting her, it was on him. Everything from the moment the lightning connected him to her was on him. So much weight threaten to collapse his shoulders.

He was tired of making the wrong choice. He was tired of people dying because of him.

But isn't that what got Barry in this situation to begin with?

* * *

Ella didn't know how long had passed before she heard leaves crunch and tree limbs snap. They were going to find her, and she flinched with each step closer, but whoever was coming, which she was figuring was the police, she knew she deserved what was about to happen.

"Well, that's quite the scene back there," A male's voice began, and though it wasn't Barry's, it was a voice she knew. "Or so I hear. I couldn't really go in, nor apparently would I have wanted to..." he rambled, only in a way one person she knew does. Ella lifted her head from her legs to find Cisco, looking so normal in jeans and a dark t-shirt. Her heart already ached with regret and guilt from what already happened, but the sight of him caused her heart to twinge, momentarily doubling the pain she felt. Cisco kept his hands behind his back, no doubt concealing something to disable her. She knew she totally deserved it… but she was still totally scared.

Shakily Ella stood up, causing Cisco to take a step forward in case she fell. "Cisco, I don't… I don't even think 'I'm so sorry' cuts it." She couldn't look him in the eyes and her shoulders folded in on herself.

Cisco opened his mouth, and then closed it, figuring what he was going to say would be inappropriate in this situation. "I know," he said gently and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, which was so unexpected to her that she flinched away. "Hey, hey now, it's going to be okay."

"Why are you saying that?" Ella asked in a trembling voice, "I'm going to jail for those murders. And I deserve it, I so deserve it."

He paused, a thoughtful look passing his face. "I feel like I'm safe in assuming those men had it coming to them. Were they not attacking you, or one of the children?" Cisco asked in a rhetorical tone.

"Yeah, the men were, but—" Ella tried to say, but he interrupted her.

"You can't really be charged for murder for that, Ella. That was self-defense, and this a hostage situation. You probably saved—" Cisco continued, but she couldn't take it anymore.

"But I killed a child! Cisco, I struck him with _lightning_." To admit it broke Ella's heart and a sob escaped her.

"No, you didn't kill him. He is severely burn but he will be okay," Cisco reassured her quietly, and even though every inch of her ached with regret, relief fell in the mix too. Ella fell to her knees and wept, for this entire night.

"You're not expected to have this whole thing down pat, Ella. You only woke up, what, three hours ago? And then you're not even like a normal meta-human! Barry… _created_ you. You are unique, unlike any of the metas we've encountered, and what you've done so far is you at natural talent. Sometimes you have to push your way to the extent other people start at, and sometimes your power comes out kicking and you must learn to control it. Which seems to be you. So you are going to make mistakes and you're going to learn from them," He grinned before adding, "How was that for a pep talk?"

But then he sighed and was quiet for a moment.

"But Ella, this cannot happen ever again. There are no excuses now. You need to learn how to control your powers or you need to go somewhere where you can't hurt anyone. There is no in between. Everyone at those labs, and not to mention Joe and Iris, want you to learn how to control this, and _stay_. We will never give up on you, but once you give up on yourself, you're a goner. Do you understand?" The playfulness that always edged Cisco's voice disappeared then, a stern tone replacing it, and Ella brought her head up, nodding tearfully.

She shakily stood up again, trying to wipe her face dry, but each tear she dried, there was another one to replace it. Cisco put an arm around her shoulders and squeezed her tight.

"Let's get back to the lab. Everyone is waiting for us back there," He paused, his eyes sweeping around the clearing. "This is being taken care of… as of right now, no one can even place you at the scene," Cisco added.

There was another pause, and with Ella's head in the crook of his neck, she could feel the muscles it took for the smile to light up the nerd's face.

"I don't suppose you want to try to test your lightning teleportation on the both of us, and get us back to STAR labs?"

* * *

"Why didn't Barry come and get me? I know he was there… I know he saw." It took most of the car ride back for Ella to work out those words. Out of all the people she's ever met, she had trusted Barry the most to keep his promise of never leaving her alone.

Cisco hesitated before saying, "He had to meet up with police and do his day job. There are bodies… he is there." He shrugged like it was no big deal. But that's how Ella knew it was a big deal.

"Or he realized he created a monster and has the mind to know he should stay away," Ella said quietly. She stared down at her laced fingers across her lap.

Silence took over for a moment before he replied, "Ella, you're not a monster. I've met monsters. They want to like, take over the world or want revenge on someone and they'll murder in cold blood whoever is in their way. There's even been a giant ape that could speak telepathically and mind control you. That was a hard day…" Cisco trailed off for a moment, wondering what became of Grood, before finally realizing he had a point, "So I know monsters. And that's how I know you aren't one. Barry was a bit freaked out, but he will get over it. And yeah, he was really called to his day job, though it was technically evening. He's forensic for the police."

Ella heaved a long sigh. "I know. I just… if he's thinking I'm a monster, how am I suppose to think I'm not?"

"Again, you're not a monster. But we've found monsters come in the disguise of people you think you can trust. I guess that's the real monster part about them…" Cisco often thought of the vision of Dr Wells sticking a vibrating hand in his chest and killing him. He often heard the words of his mentor, the encouragement and criticism, all the things that ultimately made him a better person. Then Wells last words before killing him. Cisco had known Wells for so long, had looked up to him, had…

"Cisco?" Ella asked, cutting off his internal meltdown. She gently touched his shoulder in comfort, causing his skin to tingle, but it was a deep, warm feeling, and it with poke of feeling, it spread down his arms. She pulled her hand away when he looked at her and the ease the tingling warmth brought fell away. "Are you okay?"

He was surprised that the emptiness and the hurting that Cisco hides under silliness and immaturity somehow managed to break through. He jerked his eyes away, from the face that had just been tearstained with her own internal battles, that now was cleared away of concern for herself and replaced with worry for him. He locked his gaze on the road ahead of him before swallowing. He was relieved his heart beat returned to a normal rate and it felt like someone popped a small bubble of pressure from his chest.

"Yeah. Yeah, psh, yeah, I'm good," Cisco stumbled over the words as he put his shields of defense back up. He glanced at Ella to see if she bought it, but his thoughts didn't match how he felt anymore, and slowly they began to stop racing.

Her eyes grabbed his and he felt unexpectedly vulnerable, like maybe Ella had x-ray vision to the soul.

Caitlin knew Barry did have to go back to the mill with the CCPD to analyze the scene with Joe and Eddie, but something seemed a bit off about him. She felt like Ella should have taken more of importance to him, instead of handing off the task to retrieve her from the woods before the police found her to Cisco, who left immediately find her.

* * *

While she waited for the team to return, Caitlin took another look at Ella's blood. She eventually enlisted Harry, with the knowledge of all things Speed Force, could throw in some ideas on why her blood was silver and how she could physically turn into a lightning bolt. By the time Cisco arrived with Ella and Barry decided to show back up, she felt like she had a more of an understanding, though very limited in actual knowledge, on what was going on inside of Ella.

"So, Ella, heard you had a rough night…" Caitlin joked lamely, trying to defuse the static she was feeling in the air. She gave a small smile in greeting when she came in, not wanting to add to the guilt you could see physically weighing on the poor girl. However her scalp began to tingle and when she reached her hand up to try to rub it away, she found her hair frizzing out. Great, as if she didn't have to put enough product in it to make it as smooth as it was, now they had an emotional lightning-powered meta-human in their mist.

Ella let out a deep breath, "You could say that." Though she gave a long look at Caitlin and then her face relaxed a little, the look of guilt falling away till it just haunted her eyes. She was trying to hold it together. But then her eyes went downcast, while her body stayed rigid.

"Do you want to tell us what happened out there?" Harry asked, eyes trained on her. His voice stayed low and a bit harsh, but held no tone of judgement.

Probably because he had no room to judge, Caitlin thought to herself, but she watched as Ella's lip trembled, and she began her story.

"It hadn't been a conscious thing, wanting to help with the kidnapping, but it was more so my heart felt for them, and then my body started to tingle. I knew where the saw mill was, I could see it in my head… and then I shot through the ceiling. I don't remember much of-of the… transportation to the mill. I just felt very heavy, but very light, all at once. Powerful," She could barely breathe out the word, recounting the warmth she felt when she lost control, "but then all at once my feet were hitting the ground and I fell to my knees. I looked up and saw the men and they all turned around, guns at the ready." Ella paused a moment as it all replayed in her mind. Then her face turned thoughtful and a hand went to her mouth at this revelation: "They knew I was coming. It was a trap. They said, 'She's here! He wants her alive!'"

"What happened next?" Barry asked, sharply. Ella winced at the tone and a hurt look grew on her face, but continued.

"I didn't want them to get me. I was… I was so scared," She tried to say, but ended up burrowing her face in her hands as the memories flooded her. She spoke through her fingers, "I began tingling, but it didn't hurt. It started to warm up my body and I started to relax and… gave in. I felt disconnected. I felt… nothing at all, but the slow burn of power that went through my body, and I craved it. Crave it…" Ella trailed off before finishing, "Lightning bolts just began to zap them. From the ceiling and my fingertips," She looked down at her fingers to see them sparking again and she swallowed, "The little boy came running towards me when all the men were down, and I was in self-defense mode. As soon as I realized it was one of the kids, as soon as he _screamed_ … it woke me up. I was connected again and I broke the connection."

"How did you do that?" Caitlin spoke in the silence that followed her story.

But all Ella could do was shrug. "I don't know."

Another silence fell over them as they processed all that she told them. Caitlin glanced at Barry, whose faced was scrunched up in thought, but his cold manner hadn't left. How could he not see that Ella needed help? With help and training, especially Barry's help and training, they could get a handle on this.

And Caitlin could tell his attitude was affecting Ella, who needed to be as calm as possible right now. It was a relief that only her hands were sparking right now, but the air was sharp with static. Who knows what was going to set her off?

"I know this was a tough evening for you, Ella, but rest assured we will help you through this," Caitlin told her, causing Ella to relax slightly.

"I have some ideas on tech that can help you control it. How would you feel about gloves and silver, Ella?" Cisco put in with a smile, "I told you we will help you with this," he added.

"I'm a goner if I give up on myself," Ella recited his words, causing Cisco's smile to beam. "I'm not going to give up on myself. I know I can use this for good. I know because of you, Barry," She finally turned to him and made eye contact, which she had tried to avoid the entire time, "You're the strongest person I know and I couldn't do this without you. Please don't hate me. I promise to make you someone to be proud of. I promise, Barry."

Barry closed his eyes, his resolve threatening to break, but he said, "Prove it to me." He opened his eyes as Ella broke contact with him, hurt now becoming a prominent feature on her face.

"Why are you acting like this, Barry?" Caitlin finally asked, striding over to him. "She doesn't know how to control this, but she's trying and she will figure it out with our help. She literally just woke up a couple hours ago. Did you know all you know now when you first came out of a coma? No! You had to push yourself for your powers to grow but she has to fight to control hers. It's a responsibility and she's going to make mistakes, as you've made many mistakes. Do you need me to remind you of yours? Because I will gladly—"

"Caitlin." Harry cut her off, giving her a pointed look, and she took a breath.

"Sorry, but this just isn't like you, Barry," Caitlin finally finished her rant, pressing a hand to her forehead and wrapping an arm around her stomach.

"That seems to me to be a good thing. 'Like me'," he threw his fingers up in air quotes, "would trust her. 'Like me' would grow close with her. 'Like me' would fall in love with her, and 'like me' will be destroyed when she betrays us and hurts all I have left!" Barry finally yelled, before pacing around a moment as the group shocked at his outburst registered what he was saying.

He said in a lower voice but he spoke fast and his words jumbled together, "I'm tired of making wrong decisions. Everyone in my life right now has been put in danger because of me. People have died because of me. Ella would have died because of me and Ella has been in my life longer than all of you and Ella is apparently my future and somehow my future keeps haunting me now and… and it's not feeling like my life. It's not feeling like I'm in control. When the future that is yet to come is attacking me _now_ and changing me _now_ and I haven't even done anything! Yet… I just…." He then let out a groan, pulling at his hair. "I'm trapped now, in the present, for the future I know nothing about, but everyone else seems to know all about. My future is set. I don't have a choice."

Barry dropped his hands down at his sides, staring imploringly at Ella. His mouth opened but he didn't say anything, and with his hair sticking up from where his hands were, he truly looked like a mad man.

"Barry, your future is still your choice. Decree just saw your decisions in advance…" Ella began softly, slowly walking over to him. This was a night of speeches, apparently. "The future is always there, but most people have the-the freedom of seeing it as it plays out. But I don't think the future is set in stone. Whatever Decree saw, whatever he's told you… it's your choice on whether you want it to happen. If you don't want—" she cut herself off, _if you don't want to be with me like I want to be with you._ "If you don't want it, fight for what you do want. You can do anything, Barry. Anything. Even change the future. I believe in you." Now face to face, she placed a hand on his arm, her sparking fingertips momentarily forgotten.

Barry stilled at her touch and took a deep breath. His tensed body relaxed and the crazed look left his eyes.

"Well, Barry, you're probably feeling pretty dang bad about taking this all out on Ella now," Cisco deadpanned, though looking at the two of them he remembered something. "Question, how do you feel right now, Barry? Does it… burn where Ella's touching you?" At those words, Ella jerked her hand away from his arm with bewildered eyes. Barry stood there with a puzzled look on his face, looking down at his arm, where moments before Ella's hand had been.

"What? Why would you ask that? Have I burned you, Cisco? Oh my God, I'm so sor-" She began immediately, backing away from Barry and Cisco, who quickly ran over to comfort her. She brought her hands up in horror, as tiny little bolts ran across them.

"El, no no no, I didn't mean BURN burn, but _burn_. In a good way. Like, warm and comforting, but it throbs, but in a good way; it grows and gets stronger in how far it hits, like it's a burning pulse," Cisco tried to reiterate, "Eh, bad choice of words. Definitely good though."

"I did something good?" Ella questioned in shock, freezing in place. She looked over at Barry, whose face now lit up in a smile.

"You don't know how… how overwhelmed and stressed I felt before you touched me, but like Cisco said it _burned_ but not BURN burn, but it felt good. It was low and soothing and radiated… thank you, Ella," Barry answered, rubbing his arm.

She flushed at the positive attention and muttered, "Anytime." Ella wished there was someone who could touch her and make her relax, but she was glad she finally did something for good tonight.

"Before we wind down and call it a day, I wanted to tell you what I found in Ella's blood," Caitlin put in, and everyone's attention turned to her.

"So it seems one aspect of Barry's speed force honed in on Ella and completely changed her on a molecular level, therefore the best explanation of Ella's ability to turn into lightning. The components in her blood have changed, displaying an abnormal amount of Speed Force just... in her. Her silver blood is a side effect of the dominance of it. We need to run more tests to see what kind of effect it can have. The energy from it is what's keeping her alive and allowing her internally to function and the things that would normally not be able to function under this circumstances, have adapted or changed. The human body is extraordinary."

Ella shook her head in disbelief, unable to wrap her mind around what was going on inside her. "I know I'm not super smart like you guys, and this might be all in a day's work for you, but this sounds absolutely insane."

"No, you're pretty unique, Ella, and that's utterly exciting," Cisco said, clapping his hands together. "So, I was figuring Bolt might be a good name for you. Maybe. Because you, you can turn into a lightning bolt… okay, we'll discuss this later." Disappointment crossed Cisco's face when Ella sent him a look for his prattling on.

"Bolt's kinda cool, Cisco, but I feel like I shouldn't drop dead exhausted when we're making decisions on my superhero name," Ella replied, trying to make up for the look of exasperation she gave him.

"Fiiine," Cisco whined but with a smile, and added, "Yeah but I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready to go home. I've got some zombies calling my name and it's in everyone's best interest to not keep them waiting."

Everyone else murmured their agreement and Ella froze, having no idea where she was sleeping tonight.

"Do you want me to drop you off at your parents, Ella?" Caitlin asked, standing up and smoothing out her skirt.

But the other girl was already shaking her head. "How can I… when I'm like this?" She answered with a question of her own. They wouldn't recognize this murdering girl that will claim to be their daughter. "I can't let them see me like this. I have to be able to atleast… look normal. That's all they really want in the end," She said the last part sadly. She was always an object of disappointment to her family but she tried to keep it together for them, for she knew how hard it was for them when they meet up with old friends and they're talking about their child getting a bachelor degree in physics or about to graduate medical school or something… and they have to put a positive spin on Ella dropping out of college to own a bookstore.

Ella looked down, but she could see the others sharing a look. "My apartment's a bit small, but my couch is always empty," Cisco offered and Caitlin nodded for same predicament.

Barry shook his head at them. "Ella, you can come stay with me. Iris' room still open and Joe wouldn't mind if you stayed a couple days. I can help you adjust to your new powers and you wouldn't have to hide any of it from me or Joe."

Relief filled Ella as she replied, "Thanks, Barry."

A chorus of goodbyes and goodnights echoed around the lab and everyone started to clear out.

Ella looked at Barry, waiting for him to show the way to his house.

A grin grew on Barry's face. "I'm going to show you how I travel." And in a flash, she was in his arms and they were gone.

* * *

"Holy! Crap! Barry!" Her words punctuated from being out of breath, having the unexpectedness and sight of travelling at superspeed taken her breath away. They standing in the livingroom of Barry's house.

Joe peeled over the newspaper he was reading at the newcomers and stood up to greet Ella. One look at her and he knew she was the one responsible for today's drama, and considering Barry had brought her to his house, he knew he needed to the full story.

"Sorry, El," Barry said with the same cocky grin he had on his face when he picked up Ella at the labs and watched as confusion turned to shock as he ran.

"Sorry!? Sorry's not gonna cut it. I can't tell if that's the ceiling or the floor," Ella complained, leaning against the closest thing she could find. Thankfully for her it was a wall.

"Pretty sure there wouldn't be couches, or rugs, on the ceiling, you know," He replied, shrugging, and Ella wanted to slap him in the nicest way possible, but he seemed to know for he stood a little too far out of her reach.

"Come a bit closer so I can slap you," She said, reaching out a hand to him, but decided to slide down the wall to sit instead.

"You're going to be okay," Barry downgraded his grin to a smile, squatting in front of her.

"I know," Ella brought her eyes to his, meaning that for this moment and forever.

Joe cleared his throat and Barry stood up again, beginning to help Ella up from the floor as well.

"Hey Joe, I'm pretty sure you know Ella, and you know, vice versa," Barry said as he and Ella joined Joe on the couch.

"Hi, Detective West

"Please, it's Joe. I'm not in uniform. Good to see you up, Ella. What brings you to our home this fine night?"

Ella looked at Barry, slightly panicking that it might not be okay she stayed for a couple of days, but he didn't look concerned.

"Well, she woke up today and has spent some time adjusting to her new powers," Barry tried to sum it up cheerfully, though there really wasn't any good way to do so.

Joe just nodded thoughtfully. "So I'm assuming, from the times I saw you while you were in the coma, that you can do something with lightning. Like strike people down. And the fact her hands are sparking… I'm happy you're here and all, it's nothing against you, but are you okay to be here?"

Ella's face held shame as she tried to speak, but Barry cut her off, "Ella's fine to be here. I've… I've had the same thoughts and she will be fine."

But Ella just had to keep apologizing. She hoped that it might lessen the weight of guilt she felt but so far no luck. "I'm so sorry about the things that happened at the mill, Joe… I-"

"I really don't want to know more, as a cop," Joe cut her off, eyes flashing a warning. He continued, "So as long you can promise innocent people won't get hurt again, things should be good."

Ella bowed her head, not knowing what else to say.

"Still not explaining why she's here. Again, not that I might you're here…" Joe added for Ella's benefit, before waiting for an answer.

"I gave her Iris' room for a couple days. She doesn't want to see her parents yet," Barry explained.

"Do your parents even know you're awake, Ella?" Joe asked, and he watched as she shook her head.

"I don't want them to know till I can somewhat control this. I might hurt them…" Ella explained, stressfully playing with her earlobe.

"Well, of course, you're welcomed here, but telling your parents sooner than later is something you should do," Joe replied, before standing up. "Well, Bear, Ella, I'm going to bed." Joe gave Barry a long look, causing the son to raise his eyebrow, before adding, "Barry can help you set up Iris' room. There might be some of her old clothes in the closet."

"Thank you, Joe," Ella said before he left the room. She had a feeling she might be saying that a lot to him.

"Anytime."

* * *

Barry and Ella found Iris' old clothes, but 'old' was a definite description. Apparently Iris thought all the clothes she had in her recent (recent being the past 16 years) was worth taking with her. So she borrowed sweatpants and a shirt from Barry and called it a night.

They quickly went their separate ways, leaving Ella alone curled up in the bed. She found she didn't like being alone. Her fingers lit up the room but she was glad she didn't catch anything on fire. She wondered how something that so far has caused destruction, could actually soothe people? Ella was wishing again someone's touch could soothe her like apparently hers can… and then she thought of Barry. Flushing, though she was alone, she forced those thoughts out of her head.

It was evident Barry didn't want to future Decree spoke of… of them together. It was one of the things he felt like he had no control over. But, she thought, does anyone have control over it? She believed what she said earlier. Most people have the freedom seeing their future play out. Barry, or herself, didn't.

Ella was exhausted and every bit of her body told her to lay down and shut her eyes, but something kept her on high alert. She felt safe here… Barry was just one room over. But what was rising the hairs on the back of her neck?

A gust of wind chilled her to the bone and craned her neck to see behind her, for she saw nothing before her. She tried to brace herself for what she was going to see, but really nothing could.

In a full body black suit, Ella could only see the pits of his dark eyes. He stood there, not saying anything, and she was frozen in terror, unable to call out for Barry.

Finally the man said, "Ella." It sounded like he was in shock, but she couldn't fathom such a scary person ever being in shock.

"I-I-I-I" is all Ella could get out in response.

"Ella, my love. You're alive. Of course… Ella," He reached out for her, but she flinched away. "You know you never have to be scared of me." He took a step back because it was quite obvious she was.

"I-I-I don't kn-n-now you," She stuttered, slowly her mind began to unfreeze and she was happy for once that her lightning was rather uncontrollable, because that was all it took to direct a bolt towards him.

But he effortlessly blocked himself with a wave of his hand. She heard him take a breath, and a smile in his voice when he spoke, "That might be the case for now, but not for much longer. Enjoy your time with the Flash, it won't last long. And you will hate me for not taking you sooner, but all in due time, my love."

And then he was gone.

* * *

 _You guys are so incredible! Thank you for taking the time to review, favorite, and follow my story! After a stressful morning at work, it was the best thing ever to come home to. My heart still aches with anxiety from the day, but I know once I start writing, I'll get lost in the world of the Flash, and I can only do that because I feel so encouraged by you guys. So let me know what you think of this chapter! There was a lot I wanted to cover. I've got a few Earth 2 doppelgangers coming and I'm really excited to incorporate them in my story. While Zoom won't be the main villain, he will make a few appearances for how he's connected to Ella (I'm gonna take a stab at creating a life for Decree and Fate). A lot of plans! Stay tuned. – Anna :)_


	5. Back From The Dead

**CHAPTER FOUR: BACK FROM THE DEAD**

The moment Ella was able to breath was the moment she imagined Barry's room, and in an instant there she was. She landed right in front of the dresser, where she spent most of the time when she was in his room earlier.

Ella spun around, crying out, "Barry!" but he was already on his feet, his bare chest braced for attack. He relaxed when he realized it was her, though then his eyebrows scrunched with worry.

"Ella, what's wrong?" Barry asked, his voice low with concern. He came to where she was, placing a hand on her shoulder in comfort. The sight of him shirtless and with his sweatpants hung low on his hips, would normally only be a sight for her dreams, but that was the last thing on her mind.

"This-this-this man…" Ella tried to speak, but her voice shook like her body did. She put a hand to her mouth and fell against Barry, feeling like she needed someone to hold her tight to keep her from breaking apart. He wrapped his arms around her, causing her head to fit in the crook of his neck.

She breathed in Barry a moment before she continued on to his chest, "In all black, suddenly appeared in my room. His eyes were black, like… like his soul was black. He knew you… and he knew me. How does everyone know me!?"

Ella could feel Barry stiffen next to her. She took a breath and pulled away, feeling safer with Barry.

"Zoom," he said with restrained anger. "Zoom was in your room? What did he say?" His eyes bore into hers, with a fire she'd never seen with him.

She swallowed before answering, "He came in and stood there and just stared at me. Then he said 'Ella' like he hadn't seen me in a while and it was a shock. I tried to tell him I didn't know him, but he said it wouldn't be that way for long, and to enjoy my time with you while it lasted." Ella dropped her face in her hands before finishing, "I have no idea what he meant, Barry! Zoom, I guess."

Barry took a breath, trying to control his emotions. In a harsh voice, he asked, "Wanna know a secret?"

He didn't wait for Ella, who knew more secrets than she knew what to do with, to reply.

"There's currently a breach that connects us to a different universe. And that's where Zoom comes from. He's hell bent on destroying me and becoming the Fastest Man Alive. Though I don't know why he's trying so hard, he's already proven to everyone how I can't beat him," Barry paused, bitterness etching its way into his voice, before he shook his head, "Anyways. There's doppelgangers of us in Earth 2. Maybe yours meant something to him. They're often… opposite of what we're here."

"Has this breach always been there?" Ella asked, her eyes wide. She couldn't quite grasp yet what he was saying. There's no way…

"No… I created it, by accident. All that's happened, is on me. Long story short: I can time travel, and I tried to go back and save my mom," Barry admitted, his eyes downcast as he told Ella one of his biggest regrets. "And I made a deal with an enemy from my future, but future me showed up as present me was about to save her, right in front of past me, and told present me not to do it. So I didn't," he swallowed, his voice thick with that last admission.

Ella was quiet as she tried to comprehend what he was saying. All the 'future me's' and 'past me's' and 'present me's' was all so confusing. She quickly decided it didn't really matter in this moment and said quietly, "I'm so sorry, Barry." Her eyes were steady on his face, though he wouldn't look at her. "I can't even imagine…"

Barry swallowed and finished his story, "When I got back, a major fight ensued, ultimately causing the breaches. Soon we started to meet metahumans from 'Earth 2' and eventually Zoom. Harry and Jay came around that time. You'll probably meet Jay soon enough. Harry didn't seem to know recognize you from over there, but maybe Jay will."

Ella's face scrunched up in thought. "Are the breaches both ways?" He nodded the answer. "But if he still has connection to Earth 2, why would it matter if I could remember him? Why doesn't he pop over and visit Earth 2 Ella?"

"Because, maybe… Earth 2 Ella is dead," Barry said gently, causing Ella's face to drop as things slowly started to connect in her mind.

"Oh… but he said I will know him. He knows I'm not that Ella, right? I would never…" A look of disgust crossed her face. In another universe, she means something to someone like Zoom? "'My love…'" she echoed his words. "I can't believe I'd do that!"

"You think you're his lover?" Barry asked and Ella nodded to answer. "That is really messed up. But that doesn't change the fact that that's not how it works. You're not going to become Earth 2 Ella just because he wants you to. You're two different people…"

"But what if he knows how to do it? I don't want to be a person that loves him!" She exclaimed, causing Barry's hair to rise with the static she accidentally gave the room from her distress. Ella took a deep breath, recognizing the feeling of being about to lose it, and noticing the way his hair began to float.

"El, that's not going to happen. I won't let that happen," Barry promised, finally meeting her eyes.

There was a knock on the door that startled them both.

"Barry?" Joe called and Barry looked like he was caught doing something he wasn't suppose to.

"It's open!" He replied back and pulled away from Ella, putting distance between them.

Joe peered his head in with an eyebrow raised. "You know that open door rule is still in effect."

"Joe, I'm 25 years old—" Barry began, rolling his eyes.

But Joe cut in with, "And you're still living my house—"

"And that's not even what was happening!" He threw his hands up in exasperation. He felt so pressured to be with Ella in a certain way that he just wanted to push it away, even though he liked being with her. Even though he could see it happening. Then Barry remembered Joe didn't know just how much Ella was supposedly a part of his future yet. He took a breath. "Zoom was here. He was in Ella's room," Barry informed him, his face turning serious.

"He was in my house? No. No." Joe entered the room. His eyes flashed with anger.

"We don't know why he came here, but he knows Ella. Or Earth 2 Ella," Barry corrected himself before adding, "He said he was coming back for her, saying she will remember him soon enough."

"But I'm pretty sure that's not how it works," Joe said, with a question mark in the tone of his voice.

Barry groaned. "Exactly, and… exactly."

Joe rubbed a hand over his head, mulling over the situation at hand. "Well then… we can discuss this more tomorrow. There isn't anything we can do. It's been a long day for Ella. Hell, for all of us," he finally put in and Ella and Barry nodded their agreement.

"I'm just going to let Cisco and Caitlin know what happened." He went to his bedside table and began texting his friends. He glanced up at Ella, who looked completely overwhelmed again. "Are you okay, El?" Barry asked.

The expression cleared on her face and she answered softly, "I'll be okay."

There Ella goes trying to make everyone else around her feel good. "Are you sure?" Barry pushed, but Ella just nodded, so he and Joe walked her back to her room.

"Sleep well," She said with a smile, though she knew she wouldn't be.

But it wasn't the first time she tried to portray something she wasn't in the past five minutes.

Ella wasn't going to be okay.

* * *

Ella slept fitfully for the rest of the night. When she rolled over for the millionth time and opened her eyes, she was relieved to see light peeking through the blinds of the window. Throwing the blankets off her, she made her way to the small bathroom tucked in Iris' room.

She hesitated before walking in, as she remembered she hasn't looked at herself in a mirror in months. She braced herself for what she was going to see.

The first thing Ella noticed was the bruises under her eyes, the cheekbones on her face, and the paleness of her skin. Then she caught her eyes in the mirror and saw how hollow she looked. She wasn't fooling anyone trying to act like she was okay, but she was still going to do it the same. Ella never wanted to be a burden to anyone.

As she finger combed her hair, after noticing how she didn't feel her sparking fingers on her head, she thought of the night before. Of Zoom and of Barry. Being absolutely terrified in Zoom's presence and feeling absolutely safe in Barry's arms. And how Zoom seemed to want her and how Barry did not.

Ella closed her eyes to force these thoughts out of her head before she squeezed a little bit of toothpaste on her finger to brush her teeth, wishing when she came in contact with her hands it calmed her.

She tried to think of what today would entail rather than what her life would entail as she showered, and tried to imagine she was washing yesterday away and down the drain. She was calm. She was going to stay calm today. She wasn't going to hurt anyone else. It was like a mantra she was saying in her mind.

When she went downstairs, Joe was standing alone in the kitchen. A cup full of coffee was in his hand as he greeted her, "Good morning, Ella."

"'Morning, De—Joe," She quickly corrected herself, remembering that he told her what he wanted to be called last night. She felt uncomfortable without Barry there, like she was opposing on Joe. Like she didn't belong.

"There's coffee in the pot and mugs in that cabinet," Joe told her, directing her with his eyes and pointing with his own mug of coffee.

"Thank you." She slowly made herself coffee, feeling self-conscience.

"Sorry we didn't have anything of Iris' that fit you. I didn't realize she had enough room in her closet at her apartment to fit all her clothes," He paused for a moment, looking thoughtful, "Though knowing her, it's probably overflowing her closet and taking over her room."

"It's okay, you've done enough already. I'm going by my apartment today and I'll grab clothes," Ella replied politely, tugging at the hem of the STAR Labs shirt Barry lent her last night. She had matching oversized sweatpants.

"You didn't sleep well," He observed, before taking a sip. His eyes were on her.

"How'd you know?" Ella said softly, with a smile, trying to remember how to be social. It's always something she's had to figure out, like she's doing it for the first time each time she does it.

"It's these mad cop skills of mine," Joe joked, coaxing a real smile out of her.

Ella laughed, slowly starting to ease, though she still didn't know what to say, but she wanted to. A thing Ella always struggled with and she was glad that this was what she was worrying about right now. It felt so normal.

"Ella, you know you're welcomed here, right? I trust you… that's part of my cop skills too. I've seen Barry come a long way with his powers and so will you," He put in, with an earnest tone, catching Ella's eye.

She nodded and Joe added, "And it's okay to not be okay. You didn't ask for any of this and it's a lot you've been given. It's almost not okay to be okay right now."

She looked away then and answered, thinking of her parents, "If I act like I'm okay, it gives me hope one day I will be okay." Though in her entire life, it has not happened. Ella almost told Joe about her parents, but it was then that Barry decided to enter the room.

He looked just as tired as she felt. His hair was still damp from a shower, Ella noticed as he made his way to the coffee maker. Shirt tails and collars poked out of brown sweater and black corduroys hung loose on him.

"Well, aren't we a lively bunch this morning," Joe deadpanned, as he rose an eyebrow and took a sip of his coffee.

Barry let the cabinet door slam shut and his mug clang on the counter before bursting out, "I just don't… like that Zoom was here. In our house. That's like, crossing a line or something." He finished the little outburst with a sigh, before putting the cup down and saying, "I need to go for a run. I'm just—I'm going to Jitters. Coming, Ella?" He looked at her, but she shook her head with a bitter laugh.

Raising her silver laced hands, she answered sarcastically, "Yeah, sure, and possibly shoot the barista with lightning for getting my drink wrong? Sounds like a good idea." Plus, she could tell he wanted some space. All Ella has done is add extra stress to Barry and the team since waking up.

Joe snorted, his lips pressed to his mug, and Barry shrugged, "Most people need a shot to wake them up in the morning."

"Yeah, normally of espresso," Ella rolled her eyes and put one hand in her pocket. The other one she used to sip her coffee.

Barry chuckled lightly. "Do you want me to get you anything?" he asked.

"I'd take a venti ice coffee with two shots of espresso," Ella replied, somewhat covering her sheepish grin with the cup of coffee she had in route to her mouth.

"I think I'm learning you have a coffee addiction," Barry said with a smile.

"Hi, my name is Ella and I am addicted to caffeine," She joked.

"Well, I'm heading to the station. See you, Barry. Ella," Joe cut in, patting Barry on the shoulder and nodding at Ella, before walking out of the kitchen.

"I better go too. Meet you at STAR Labs?" Barry asked, and when Ella nodded, he ran off.

Now that she was alone, she took a deep breath and imagined the desk where Cisco and Caitlin sat in the main room. Then she disappeared.

Cisco nearly fell out of his chair when the lightning dropped from the ceiling and onto the desk. Ella rolled off the edge and landed on the floor.

"Ow," she muttered, lying on her back for a moment before pushing herself up.

"Bolt! We have to call you Bolt, because that was just… just freaking awesome, man," Cisco exclaimed, awe overcoming his voice. And his face. And the rest of the body. He was wide eyed with excitement.

"I'll think about it, Cisco," Ella said, wiping the back of her sweats off.

"Oh, and sorry… you're okay, right?" He got up and made his way to her, looking her up and down for any visible damage.

She blushed. "Yeah, I'm fine. I guess I just remembered the desk a bit too vividly."

"Is that how it works? You imagine a place and you're there?" Cisco asked, the eagerness returning.

"Basically," Ella answered with a shrug.

"Oh! I have something for you…" He said, ushering her over to where Barry's Flash uniform stood. Another case stood beside it, but a white sheet was draped over it. "I'm not quite finished yet, so no grand reveal quite yet, but these are done and I thought you might want them." Cisco pulled open the drawer at the bottom of the case and handed her a pair of dark purple gloves.

"These will absorb the static in your hands and lessen the energy of your lightning in general. So, with these on, your hands won't spark and your power will be a bit less controlled by emotion," He explained as she pulled them on.

Ella held her hands out in front of her and a wave of relief overcame her. She pulled Cisco into a hug and thanked him, and he made a note of how he didn't even feel her calming touch.

He was a bit disappointed they worked, for he had a lot of things to be stressed about and he wanted to be comforted about them. Though he supposed he could talk about them like a normal person, but really… that wouldn't get him anywhere.

"Barry was getting coffee at Jitters… I'm going to see if I can help him real quick. I'll be back!" Ella exclaimed and in a blink of an eye, a lightning bolt shot through the ceiling.

Cisco stood there in awe for a moment yet again, before whispering, "Wow."

Ella landed in the alleyway next to the coffee shop, before excitedly running into the building. She found Barry sitting at a table, waiting for the drinks. His head rested on the table and his eyes were shut. It made Ella smile.

* * *

"Hey, Barry!" She said excitedly, touching his shoulder. He was startled awake, but he put his head back down when he saw it was her.

"I thought you were going to STAR Labs," Barry replied through a yawn.

"I did, look!" Ella brought up her hands to Barry's face. He straightened up again and grabbed them. He inspected them, holding them close to his face.

"No lightning from my fingertips and it'll help me stay in control," She echoed Cisco's words from earlier.

Barry smiled sleepily and put her hands down on the table. "That's really cool, El."

"Barry!" a barista called his name and they both went to the hand of plane to get their drinks.

Ella handed his drink to him, but not before reading the label. "Dang, Barry, six shots!?"

"I didn't sleep last night. Like, at all," He replied before taking a sip of his bitter drink. "I was going to stop by STAR Labs before going in to work, but I think I might go in early and take a nap."

But then his tired eyes suddenly perked up, causing Ella to look behind her. There a women stood in cut off jean shorts and low cut tank top. One side of her hair was buzzed and the other fell into a pixie cut. A hand on her hip caused her top to slide up, revealing a sliver of skin. Her other hand held a phone that she was intensely staring at. And Barry was practically drooling at her.

"Faye!" the barista called the name and she perked up, walking over the counter.

"Barry," Ella muttered quickly before she came by, to bring Barry back out of whatever disgusting place he'd fallen into, but the smirk on Faye's face told her she liked the attention. She bumped Ella's shoulder before making it to the counter.

Barry returned with a less enamored look on his face, but the damage was done. Ella felt herself shrink inside. It didn't help when the women came over and leaned an elbow on their small table, blocking Ella from Barry's view. She glared at the back of Faye's dark hair.

"You know, I'm just gonna be real… I know you from somewhere," Faye stated, her eyes boring into a tongue-tied Barry. She sucked her cherry red lip and tapped it with a black nailed finger, exaggerating just how hard she was trying to remember where they had met before… but Ella knew she knew exactly where. Faye knew Barry and how to play him. His cheeks weren't the only place blood was rushing.

But Barry had no clue.

"I-I-I d-don't…" he tried to speak, but his mouth went dry and words failed him, causing Faye to light up in a sultry grin. She leaned in ever so little, lips slightly parted. She shrugged and pushed herself off the table.

"Mmm… maybe I'm wrong. But I wouldn't mind if I did know you…" Faye said. Barry swallowed, his face lighting up in excitement. She added, "They call me Faye."

Ella bit her lip and turned away, unable to watch him make an even bigger fool out of himself. The barista at the counter gave her a sad smile, having watched the whole encounter. Was her heartbreak written across her face?

"That's Barry, and I'm Ella," she unexpectedly, even to herself, spoke in a cold voice. "Barry, it's time to go. You'll be late for work." Ella could hear her own jealousy and she hated herself for it. And if she could hear it, so could Faye. Just like an animal, she pounced on Ella's insecurity.

Ella wished she was still in her coma. She wished her body had just waited 24 hours to bring her back. And maybe she would have never come in contact with this women in front of her. Maybe she could have controlled her powers a little bit better and maybe Barry wouldn't be so against loving her.

Faye finally turned to her, with icy eyes matching Ella's tone. "Whoa, jealous girlfriend alert. You might actually be pretty if you weren't so green. You do realize he's allowed to have friends, that you don't own him?"

"She's not my girlfriend," Barry blurted, finding his tongue at long last. Those words caused Ella's eyes to sting and throat to close.

"Ooooh, but it looks like she wishes she was," Faye snickered. Finally, Barry looked at Ella and his humanity came flooding back to his eyes.

He stiffened, falling out of his lust-filled reverie. Even with the gloves on, the air in the room suddenly got dry. He gave Ella a look. Did she wish she was his girlfriend?

"El, um—" Barry turned back to Faye, "Listen, Faye, it was good to meet you. I'm sure we'll see each other around, but Ella and I, we, uh, we have a thing, and we're going to be late if we don't go. Right now." He grabbed Ella's arm pulled, forcing her to move her frozen body.

"Oh, I'm sure. I own the bookstore across the street. Used to be Addie's Bookstore? I'm going to completely redo it. It was sooo outdated and disgusting. See you around," Faye waved her fingers and sauntered out the front door.

Once outside, Ella jerked her arm away from Barry and stomped over the alleyway she appeared in earlier.

So many emotions swelled inside her, but then she froze and gasped, as Faye's last words sunk in. "Did she say Addie's Bookstore?" Her eyes went wide and she only felt one thing: terror.

The next instant, she was standing outside her bookstore. She peered up at where the 'Addie's Bookstore' sign in thick, block lettering should be and instead saw 'It's Your Fate Bookstore' in slanted, cursive writing. In that moment, Ella didn't care if anyone saw her use her power.

"No," she could barely whisper the word. "No."

"Ella…" Barry was right behind her. He wanted to comfort her, but didn't know what to say.

She covered her mouth with her hand, to keep the tears pushed in and then took off towards the alleyway.

"Ella, wait! What are you going to do?" Barry asked, catching up to grab her shoulder.

"I'm going to see my parents," She answered in a barely restrained voice. She swallowed and tried to breathe through her nose. Ella never loses it in front of anyone, but she was currently so dangerously close.

"El, let's talk about this first. Anger and control don't tend to come hand and hand," He suggested cautiously, "And you're currently really mad and you don't have a lot of control over your powers yet."

"You don't have control over your dick and yet you go out in public. What the heck was that, Barry?" Ella suddenly screamed at him, all the emotions flooding her at once. "You were drooling over her. And I resisted the urge to wipe that smirk off her face, didn't I? I can control myself in front of my parents," Ella finished through clenched teeth.

Barry paused in shock, feeling like everything he ever knew about Ella was shattered.

"I wasn't- I didn't- she was just…!" Barry tried to defend himself, blushing, but he shook his head. Other matters at hand, but he didn't even know what else to say. He was speechless. He'd never seen Ella react like this before, and it was a normal reaction… for a normal person. She was so far from normal, though.

And then something softened in Ella's face and she took a deep breath, momentarily shutting her eyes. "I'm sorry, Barry. The bookstore is everything to me," _you're everything to me_ , she continued internally. "And she somehow took it from me." _and she's everything I'm not, and you liked it_. But she kept that last bit to herself.

Barry ran a hand through his hair, trying to compartmentalize the issues at hand. "I'll go with you to make sure—" but Ella was already shaking her hand at what Barry was saying.

"You being there would just make everything worse right now. I'll be okay. Tell me…" She hesitated before asking, for she truthfully didn't want to know. However she needed to. "Did my parents come visit me? Ever?"

Barry went quiet, thinking about how to sensitively put that they didn't visit much. Ella had been in their care for many months and they only came a handful of times.

But his silence answered the question enough for her. "They probably wished you had let me die," She said in a broken voice.

"No, Ella. They did visit. It wasn't often, but they did…" Barry tried to comfort her, but it really wasn't a good situation. He didn't realize how badly her parents had affected Ella.

"Barry, I don't think they ever wanted me, but how would it look if they abandoned their child?" Ella asked, thankfully rhetorically, because Barry didn't know what to say. He had a sudden wave of longing for his mom. He never questioned whether he was loved or not… "I just need to get this over with. Maybe I'll give them what they want."

And with that, Ella shot up to the sky and suddenly Barry was standing alone. He took a worried sigh before glancing at his watch. He was suppose to be at work 10 minutes ago.

* * *

Ella anxiously played with tips of her gloved fingers as she made her way across the sidewalk and the stairs of her parent's home. She paused at the door and waited over a minute till she rang the doorbell.

And then she forgot how to breathe.

"Pardon me, Cheryl—I'm so sorry for the interruption! You were the only person I was expecting this morning…" Ella heard her mother's muffled voice through the door and she almost cried. But she kept herself together.

No more crying, she promised herself. She thought of Cisco when she thought that, superheroes don't cry.

The door bursted open and her mother snapped, "What?"

Ella didn't know what she was going to say till the words fell out of her mouth. "Hello, Mom."

A scream escaped her mother before a hand shot up to cover her mouth. "Donna!? Donna!" Cheryl called from behind her in concern, but Donna's eyes widened in panic and she yelled behind her, "I'm fine, Cher—just one moment. It's—it's… just one moment."

Her mother slammed the door shut, pushing Ella back as she came out. Donna suspiciously looked around before turning to her daughter. "What the hell are you doing here?" she hissed, just inches from her face.

Ella swallowed, slightly taken aback. "'Oh my gosh, Ella, you're out of your coma! I'm so happy you're out of your coma!'" She mimicked sarcastically what her mother should have probably said.

"They said… those idiots at STAR Labs said you were braindead," Donna tried to defend herself, but she swallowed and her eyes darted. She was lying.

"Cut the crap, Mom. You and Dad have always hated me! This is just the first chance you've had to get rid of me since I never wanted to leave Grandma's bookstore!"

"Hated you? Please, Ella, that's so childish. You are so-" Donna began, rolling her eyes.

"Well, you never loved me," Ella wanted to yell it at her, but it only came out in a broken whisper. She sniffed before adding, "Grandma's the only one who ever loved me and you sold it! You sold her bookstore. That meant everything to her and everything to me! Why would you do that?"

"You are… you are legally dead," Donna said, finally looking slightly regretful. Or maybe she was just regretful just for the fact she got caught. A look of horror on Ella's face caused her to quickly add, "It's surprisingly very easy to make someone dead. A couple hundred bucks and a Jane Doe." Her mother winced at her own words, but Ella couldn't fathom why. Perhaps her words didn't sound so awful in her head?

Nonetheless, they were.

"Listen, Cheryl's here- you remember her- and I should really get back…" Her mother tried, her body as stiff as a board. She kept glancing back at the door.

"What do you expect me to do now?" Ella asked, wondering if this was it. She should just take her death and go. As much as she fought for her parents, it was a losing battle.

"Well… I never expect you to make it out of that coma!" Her mother finally admitted, exclaiming in a loud whisper, glancing to the door behind her.

Ella didn't say anything, deciding what to do next. Letting go of her parents was a huge decision, though really the only choice. It was against her code to overstay her welcome. She was about 24 years into that overstay.

"And then… then you almost killed us! Lightning coming from your hands, from the ceiling! You're a freak now more than you ever were before. You're not safe, and then I saw the incident at the warehouse! You're a menace and shouldn't be on the streets," Donna said in a rush, as if these reasons justify her actions. Then she sighed dramatically, "But if you leave now, and never, ever return, I won't turn you in. I'll even give you a box of your clothes that are packed in your old room."

Turn her in? She was dead! Give her back her clothes? They were hers!

"Okay." Ella's voice was emotionless when she finally gave her answer and Donna visibly relaxed.

"Good. Good, I always knew there was some common sense in you. I will go get your clothes, so you can leave. Oh, and that damn cat."

Ella long learned her mother didn't have a filter, but tonight she was on fire.

"You still have Leo?" Among the burning anger she felt for her mother, cold relief began to intertwine.

Donna shook her head in disgust. "Your father formed a bond with it, but all it does is lay in your room and yowl."

She gave Ella one last look before returning inside.

"Oh, Cheryl—again, I apologize. It's… DAV. I'm donating Ella's clothes in memory of her generous heart. It's what she would have wanted! They're up in her old room. I'll be right back," Donna said as she slipped in and quickly shut the door behind her.

"Oh, Donna! You are the sweetest soul," Ella heard Cheryl's cry through the door.

Ella had half the mind to walk in the house and call her mom out on her bull crap, but she just felt so defeated.

They might not be legally dead, but they were now dead to her.

Her mother opened the door and kicked the box out, a yelp coming from inside. Then Donna slammed the door shut without another word, leaving Ella alone to say goodbye to all she's ever known.

* * *

When Ella arrived back at STAR Labs, it looked like she was ready to pass out. Cisco's look of utmost concentration smoothed into a look of concern. She gently put the box she was holding on the ground and, much to Cisco's surprise, pulled a cat out. Leo rested against her chest, tight in her arms.

"You okay, El?" Cisco asked, relieved she made it back in one piece. Though he was thinking of a way to sensitively ask if all that she encountered today was still in one piece, and then he raised an eyebrow. "Made a little friend today?"

"My parents killed me. They literally killed me," Ella answered, shaking her head in disbelief. She put her back to the desk and slid down till she sat on the floor. Sitting cross legged, she stroke Leo as he purred against her.

Cisco saved what he was working on and joined her on the floor.

She looked at him when he sat down. "They found a Jane Doe somewhere and paid a coroner to declare me dead." She then brought her cat to face him. "This is Leo. He's my cat. I had him… before. My parents kept him."

Cisco whistled. "And I thought I had parent problems." He scratched Leo's soft head, the purrs vibrating his hand.

Ella smiled sadly. "Yeah, pretty sure my parents are going to clean out the Worst Parent Awards of 2015." She shrugged before adding, "It's almost a relief. I spent most of my life trying to get them to love me. Now I'm dead."

"Well, you look pretty damn alive to me and I love that about you," Cisco replied, shrugging.

A real smile fell over Ella's face, and seeing that, Cisco dropped up, excitedly. "I got the prototype of your suit done!"

Ella jumped up too, careful with her cat, wanting to push down her unhappiness, and not let Cisco lose his. He no doubt worked hard on this, and she would admit, that she was pretty dang excited for the suit.

"Cisco, this is amazing. Thank you for doing this!" Ella exclaimed excitedly when they both stood before the case that stood next to Barry's, which held her suit.

"Don't thank me yet! You haven't even seen it," Cisco said, but he smiled anyways.

"Cisco, you are such a genuine person and you care so much about little details in other people's lives. I'm going to love this, I know it."

"Well, drumroll please…" Cisco replied, blushing at the praise and a tad bit nervous now that he really got Ella wrong and she'll hate the suit but being Ella she'll never say.

He took a breath and pulled the covering off the case. He immediately looked over at Ella to see the first look that crossed her face.

And it was happiness.

Ella's suit was the color of purple grapes with accents of silver. It looked like it was made in leather and would snug her body. It came with a mask that covered her eyes and gloves that she already wore.

"The suit is like the gloves I already gave you. They will absorb the excess static and the energy of your lightning, making both things more manageable." Cisco introduced the suit and then asked, "How'd the gloves do today?"

Ella sighed, thinking about the way she reacted to Faye. And the things she said to Barry. "Probably saved a couple lives today, specifically Barry and his new girlfriends'," she answered, voice filled with chagrin.

"Barry's new girlfriend?" Cisco echoed, noting the look of sheer heartbreak on Ella's face.

She sighed deeply again, but shrugged it off. "It doesn't matter. It's his life… his choice."

Something ached in Cisco's heart. "It looks like it matters to you."

"What matters to me has never truly mattered. The only things I truly cared about have died or been stolen from me. Or will never love me back," Ella admitted softly, nervously playing with the tips of her gloves.

Cisco paused and said, "Never say never." It was the most cliché thing in the world to say, but it didn't make it any less true.

The room was quiet as Ella admired Cisco's hard work. "I think Bolt is a pretty kick butt superhero name," she finally said with a smile.

"Is Bolt the official name?" Caitlin asked, peering over her clipboard as she walked into the lab.

Ella looked at Cisco. "Yeah. Yeah, I think it is."

Cisco grinned and Ella thought, _I could possibly love seeing him smile_.

* * *

The walk up to Cisco's apartment was like one of those dreams where you're walking down the hall and the door at the end of it never gets any closer and you spend eternity trying to get to the damn door, but to no avail. He was tired. He threw himself into making a suit for Ella and barely slept the night before in the process. He was ready to pull on sweatpants and unwind by killing some aliens.

Finally, after a thousand years, Cisco makes it to his floor, but to his surprise, there is someone waiting outside his apartment. Her back leaned against his door and a lollipop stick stuck out of her red stained lips and her black rimmed eyes were closed.

It's very, very rare a hot girl in cut off shorts and tank top waits outside his door (read: never happens). He checked her out, trying to figure out where he could possibly know her from, but he just couldn't place her. Though he was liking what he saw, especially the pixie cut with the buzzed side.

Cisco almost made it to his door before she finally opens her eyes. Her face lit up in a small grin.

"Well hello, Cisco. You don't know me… yet," She shrugged, pushing herself off the door. "But I'm a seer and I know all about you. I'm here to make you stronger," there was a long pause before she finished with, "You can call me Faye."

* * *

Barry felt slightly on edge with Ella in the room over. After she relived her last moments with her mother, and another slew of 'you're always welcomed at my place, Ella' from the team, she decided to return to his house. Even with her new purple gloves, she had a nervousness that she was going to lose control, and she felt Barry was the only one who could stop her.

After taking off his shirt and pulling on pajama pants, he crawled into bed. Waves of embarrassment washed over him every once and a while when he thought of his day… when he thought of Faye. He had made a fool of himself and Ella's words echoed in his mind, he had been a dick. Drooled over Faye like she was a piece of meat. Though she had ate it up, it doesn't make it right.

But Barry still wondered if Faye had felt the same pull he did when his eyes locked with hers.

He shook his head to the empty room. It didn't matter. The odds of him seeing her again? Pretty much zero. Plus the person he became when she was around? He didn't like that. Though he had to admit he had liked her. Faye seemed wild and unpredictable and she would be completely his choice. But what was so bad with Ella…

Barry's cell phone went off, interrupting his thoughts. He pulled it off charge to see a picture of Oliver Queen on his screen.

"Hello?" Barry said as he answered the phone. He pulled his legs up, cross legged at the end of his bed.

"When were you going to tell me you pissed off a warlock, Barry?" the gruff voice of Oliver started right off.

But Barry was confused. "I… don't know what you mean?" He tried to think what he could possibly mean and… oh.

"An old buddy of mine came in contact with a man who calls himself Decree, who is declaring war on some girl. He told me how the girl was kidnapped and ended up in a coma. But shot and killed one of Decree's buddies before whatever happened to her. Somehow Constantine was able to pop by to tell me what's going on, even though he doesn't have super speed or anything..." Oliver explained, trailing off pointedly. "They're gearing up their forces since apparently the girl is awake now. Do you know where she is?"

"I—yeah, well, she's been staying with me, but for barely twenty four hours. The coma changed her…" Barry began, trying to find the right words to say she wasn't just in a coma, but she had been dead just moments before.

"Did you honestly think murdering a sorcerer, however justifiable it was, would come with no repercussions?" Oliver asked, incredulous, barreling through questions. "You did know Decree got away, didn't you?"

A slight edge filled Barry's voice. "I've kind of had other things on my mind, Oliver, like being responsible for this breach and all those lives destroyed thanks to Zoom… thanks to me. Not mention the fact I have no idea how to defeat Zoom but he can so easily defeat me. Which I didn't need to pop over to tell you since it was on every news source in the country."

A loud sigh bursted through the speaker. "Okay, I get it. You have a lot going on. But this threat is just as real as Zoom. The girl—"

"Ella," Barry put in, sounding frustrated but mostly just at himself. He knew Decree was out there, probably doing something, but out of sight out of mind? He didn't want to think what he was doing.

"Ella, then. Ella has a target on her head and sorcerers are not something to take lightly, Barry. They're not anything like you've ever fought," Oliver cautioned him. "Some of them have been alive for hundreds of years. They have patience and they won't attack till they have a plan. And if it's been 8 months since she killed him, they've had plenty of time to put something together already."

Barry let out a weighted sigh, which Oliver could hear over the phone. "Barry, there is hope. You just need to prepare. Ella needs to stay confined somewhere safe. Heck, so does Caitlin and Cisco. With magic, the possibilities are endless, especially since I have a feeling they have no qualm about using black magic."

"Has there-have you heard any word of Ella's recovery?" Barry asked slowly, trying to see what could be used as a surprise. He had a feeling Ella wouldn't be sitting this one out, but they were going to have to have a lot to work on in the meantime.

"What do you mean? Other than the coma, was she seriously hurt?"

Barry paused before answering. "Well, considering she originally died, yeah… she was seriously hurt."

"Explain." Oliver demanded, making Barry relive that fateful day yet again. The way Ella's body turned into his mothers and how guilt took over till he couldn't take it anymore.

"A bolt of lightning connected us and I thought she was… going to explode. It ran through her veins and she burned so bright. I finally broke the connection. By this time, Decree was gone. When she looked stable enough, I took her back to the labs. It wasn't long after lightning powers become known. Ella can transport as a lightning bolt and can control lightning too," He finished, before pausing to think. "Well, we're working on the controlling bit. Cisco made some gloves that help with it, but… we had a pretty bad incident yesterday, just hours after she woke up."

Then Barry added, "And somehow she's connected to Zoom. He visited her last night and it looks like Earth 2 Ella was his girlfriend. This is so messed up, Oliver. I'm so screwed." The admission took Barry by surprise, but he immediately realized Oliver was the only one he could tell his insecurities to. He had to be strong for his friends in Central City.

"No, Barry. You are strong enough to do this. You will find a way to beat Zoom. Maybe Felicity and I can come up in a couple days as a pair of fresh eyes," Oliver suggested. "We definitely need a break from what's going on down here."

"I'd take all the help I can get," Barry answered. Some of the anxious knots in his stomach finally started to loosen up.

"We'll see you soon. Keep working with Ella, but keep your eyes open. You have to be prepared for anything," Oliver ended with that and hung up.

Barry put the phone back down on the side table and fell back against the bed, groaning. He knew he would never change his decision to save Ella if given it again, but all the things that have come with her being back… the fear of her losing control, the stress of Zoom threatening to take her, and now this? A group of sorcerers and seers and who knows what else was coming to Central City for revenge.

The whole city was now in danger for something that Barry did. Again.

He looked at the time, debating when he should tell the team what Oliver said, and decided to wait till morning. It wouldn't be too long before they were all back together at the labs. He would give his team one more night free of this new burden, a luxury Barry wouldn't get.

He didn't sleep well that night.

* * *

 **AN:** wow y'all, thanks for all the support! it's literally the best thing ever. I hope you like the addition of Faye. She plays a big part in my story. :) and she's so much fun to write! let me know what you think.

I also wanted to apologize for how long it's been! I went to China on a missions trip and I got two thousand words in the chapter, but it just wasn't done and not at a good place to post. and then I had a week off but somehow I got addicted to American Horror Story, and then Daredevil, and then working a crapton, and I never got around to finishing it… I know, I'm the worst. so I didn't fall off the side of the earth—I just went for a visit and fell in love with some orphan kids, but I'm back and at it! ;) - Anna

PS. special shout out to xRedxMoonx! She helped me edit some of the chapter and I'm so thankful!

Aaand accidentally posting the last chapter instead of this one and having to delete it ftw :P


	6. Safe With You

**CHAPTER FIVE: SAFE WITH YOU  
**

Maybe because sheer exhaustion and survivor mode went to just plain old exhaustion and adjustment mode in this time period, but it took four days for Ella to start having nightmares. Despite the fact she forced her eyes open till the weight of her eyelids were too much to bare and she tried to hold onto hearing even in her sleep. However she didn't dream. She fell into a black pit of nothingness.

Ella supposed when she started to feel safe again- safe with Barry, Caitlin, Cisco, and even Wells; safe that she wasn't going to lose control again and hurt the only people that genuinely cared for her, probably ever. For the first time in her entire life, she actually felt like she belonged. And on that third night, almost feeling the presence of Barry in the room next to her, she relaxed ever so slightly. Ella welcomed sleep that night, because though she knew Zoom was still out there, her life wasn't a nightmare. The gloves gave her control and even when the gloves threatened to not be enough, she noted the feeling of being about to lose it. And whether figuratively, in her mind, or physically, standing beside her with a hand on her arm, Barry was always there with counting and breathing techniques he did with her on the very first day.

But the third day was also the day Barry told them that when Ella killed the warlock, and since the seer got away, Decree had rallied a gang of warlocks and is preparing for round 2, and Ella had made the kill list. She actually stole the Flash's spot at number one, though he was a close second. Either way, they didn't know when, but Decree and a warlock army was also coming for them.

Truthfully, though she probably wouldn't be this honest with anyone, Ella didn't feel guilt for killing the sorcerer. That was justified. She had thought that was what made her a murderer, but then she realized she hadn't had murder in her heart yet. She was protecting an innocent life and then she was murdered in the process. It was when Ella lost control and attacked the men at the warehouse that she became a murderer. She had murder in her heart then. She wasn't protecting anyone but herself and she didn't care much more past that.

However Ella had been able to shut down those thoughts in her head. In the name of not losing control again, when a wave of guilt or regret appeared, she did something else. When she thought of the hatred that filled her body and she brought lightning from the ceiling, she turned to Cisco and became interested in his world of numbers and x's and things she couldn't ever begin to comprehend, but with a bright smile, he was happy to try to help. When Ella thought of the boy running towards her for shelter and a bolt of lightning shot from her fingers in self preservation, she turned to Caitlin and wondered what had happened to make her so rigid and distant. Gently pried the story of her husband dying twice and fell into her story and away from Ella's.

Her subconscious must be telling her her ways weren't working.

 _Ella was tied to a wooden chair. The seat curved up, causing her knees to ache, but that was the least of her worries. That was the least of her pain. There were so many tiny cuts marking her skin that it just felt like her whole body was a gaping, bloody wound. She couldn't pinpoint when one cut ended and the other began. There were tiger stripes of red trailing down her arms and legs._

 _Her head was swarming, sometimes her eyes rolled into her skull. Eventually she didn't even feel when the blade carved into her skin._

 _In the beginning, she could understand the questions and answer them._

" _Who is the Flash?" he would ask her._

" _I don't know," Ella would reply._

'Something's wrong,' she could barely think. Something just slightly… off.

If there wasn't already something about being tortured wrong or slightly off.

 _Ella thought in a suffocating panic and saw in pictures and words echoed to her from miles away, but she felt in full._

 _In the beginning, it was tiny cuts._

" _Bull shit," he would tell her. "Who is the GOD DAMNED Flash?"_

His voice was too high, it held no deep vibrato. She knew the voice though. He owned the words, but someone else owned the voice.

 _Each time she answered in denial of knowing, he sliced the tip of the blade over her face and arms, like tally marks._

 _When Ella stopped screaming in pain, he switched it up._

" _I will give you the courtesy of telling you, I'm very skilled with a knife. This knife, actually. This knife has pulled apart many skins and has glinted with many types of blood. So one more time, tell me who the Flash is and I won't show you the extend of my talents," he threatened her._

" _I have never met the Flash," Ella would say again and again. "I don't know who the Flash is."_

One of the times she spoke those sentences, the thoughts that took an eternity to form a single word began thinking 'Wah'.

Sometime later 'mmm' was added.

And finally, 'man' finished her thought.

Woman.

Decree's words. Woman's voice, she realized.

 _But Decree seemed to have no idea. He took the long side of his blade and sliced her stomach._

 _Cries filled the room again._

 _Finally, she flung her head back and forced her eyes into the unblinking ones of her captor._

 _A wicked grin crossed her face._

 _Her dark eyes twinkled in excitement._

 _Her finger stabbed her in her stomach wound._

 _Blood was splattered across her face, her arms, her clothes._

 _Ella was looking into a mirror._

 _But no… she wasn't._

 _It wasn't Decree doing those things to her, it was herself._

 _Ella pushed her hand deeper into the gash on her stomach, farther and farther till it was pushing her spine, and her back pushed against the back of the chair._

 _The chair toppled over and she landed with a grunt._

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

When Ella opened her eyes again, she wasn't tied to a chair.

"What the hell, Ella..." a voice mumbled from behind her. Slowly she rolled on her back and moved her head to the direction of the voice. Barry -relief filled before her mind even recognized him- pushed him self up from his stomach to his knees, like he'd fallen. "What are you doing in my room? In the floor of my room," he corrected himself. He scooted around to face her.

She went to wipe the blood off her face, but when she brought her hand back, it was clean. Ella swallowed, her throat dry. Slowly, she sat up and looked around the room. She was indeed in Barry's room and she wasn't exactly sure how she got there.

"Are you okay, El?" Barry asked, much more gently this time. Worry shone in his eyes as he leaned closer to her. He didn't see any visible damage, other than wide eyes and a sweaty face.

Ella opened her mouth a couple times, trying to speak before she actually found her voice. "I don't know what happened. I was..." She paused, trying to think very hard, but her thoughts were forming so slow. "I was in my bed, but I was having a nightmare. Oh my God, Barry." Her head fell in her hands as the dream came flooded back.

Without another word, Barry pulled Ella closer and wrapped his arms around her. "You're okay now, El. It wasn't real, it was only a dream."

"But it wasn't," She replied in a broken voice. "Decree was torturing me again. I remember… I remember everything. I can't- I can't act like I don't. But-but then I realized something felt off, his voice wasn't the same. I knew the voice. At some point, with all the strength I could muster, I looked up at him, and I found… it was me." Ella spoke to his chest, unable to look him in the eyes. She couldn't bare looking into his eyes and see the burden she was causing him by telling him the honest to God truth.

Ella was tortured. For him, and she knew Barry would feel responsible for it.

"I was so scared," she said, barely a whisper. "But I feel safest when I'm with you. Maybe I… teleported to you in my sleep. Because I knew. I was safe with you."

She could feel him clenching and unclenching his jaw. He was about to reply when his bedroom door bursted open and Joe came bounding through, startling both Ella and Barry, who were both still on the floor. This time though, they didn't flinch away from each other. Ella wasn't ready to move yet.

"Barry, there was a murder- why do I always seem to find the two of you like this?" Joe began before cutting himself off with a question. Then his face fell into concern. "What happened? Did Zoom come again?"

Ella took a deep breath and then another, trying to come her pounding heart. It wasn't really working so she started to speak with a shaky voice, "I had a nightmare about Decree. From when he had me. I just woke up in here. I don't really know why."

"Joe, I had just gotten the call that I was needed at the station. I tripped over her, getting up to get dressed," Barry put in his side of the story.

Joe squatted next to the two of them. Rubbing Ella's arm, he said, "Are you going to be okay, Ella?"

Knowing she'd been enough of a burden already, Ella nodded, though she yet again felt like she was anything but. "I'm fine. You should get to the station. I'll be okay." She pushed herself away from Barry and shakily stood up. "Murders are a bit more important than me."

Within ten minutes, Barry and Joe were out the door, and Ella was standing in the living room by herself.

* * *

"Meet you there," Barry said, but Joe stopped him before he took off.

"Is Ella going to be okay? Should we be leaving her alone?" he asked, his eyebrow raised for even more punctuation.

"I don't know, Joe," Barry answered honestly, hanging his head. "When I got to her, she was covered in blood. There were hundreds of little cuts all over her body and a major wound in her stomach. Everything healed by the time I brought her back, like it never happened. And I guess I kind of... forgot."

 _I remember everything. I can't-I can't act like I don't._

Guilt filled Barry's entire body, remembering her words. He knew she put others before herself, but he didn't know to what extent. Had she really been holding back to not be a burden?

"Mmm," Joe replied, mulling over his words.

"I told her to go to the lab, so she's not alone. She said she was."

Joe nodded. "We need to get to the station. The vic… was Thomas Johnson and his wife."

"The station's receptionist?" Barry exclaimed in shock. Affectionately known as TJ, Thomas Johnson was a retired navy seal, an older gentlemen. He'd known TJ since Joe took him in.

His adoptive father nodded again. "Shot through the head in his house. Both of them."

"We need to get there. See you in ten," and with that Barry took off.

* * *

Barry tried to get into the groove once at the crime scene, but his mind was distracted. How could he… how could they all have failed Ella so bad? None of them stopped and asked what truly happened while they were waiting for the Flash to arrive. How long had she been there? What did they do to her?

"Barry." Joe said his name, trying to catch his attention. He placed a hand on Barry's shoulder and spoke in a quiet voice, "Let's focus at the task at hand. Ella has a chance to be helped, but TJ does not anymore and we have to figure out why. We have to figure out what happened, and that's you, Barry. I need you to focus."

With a nod, Barry surveyed the kitchen of the Thomas household again, making notes of the way the blood on the wall was splattered and where it pooled on the floor, and took samples of things to take back to the lab. He stood over the bodies of TJ and Mrs Thomas and then made his way to the broken back door. Lastly, he listened to the reports given by the police officers first on the scene.

He took all these puzzle pieces and tried to fit them together and then he explained what he thought happened.

"I think it happened very fast. The Thomas' were enjoying a normal night at home when the back door suddenly broke open. TJ's… was quick on his feet. You have to be to main the front desk at a police station. He was a navy seal. If he had more than a couple seconds to prepare, Mrs Thomas would probably not be dead. So this guy bursts through the door. TJ was shot at a farther range than Mrs T, so he was probably shot first. Mrs Thomas is standing at the sink doing dishes and the shooter tries to shoot her straight off, and all TJ has time to do block the first shot with himself. I think she was meant to be the first shot though, since TJ seemingly sitting at the table, reading the newspaper and Mrs T was doing the dishes on opposite sides of the room. He was meant to see the death of his wife."

The surrounding officers were quiet as they took in what Barry said. Joe spoke up first. "All right, starting off with the basics. We need his file, phone records, and try to get a list of his military contacts to see if there was a particular event while he was on duty that could have triggered this."

Barry nodded his agreement to this idea and decided he was going to throw himself into this case. TJ was like Ella in a way, no one thought they needed to ask him to make sure he was okay. Nothing ever portrayed otherwise. Did he know the person who did this to him and his wife? Were they now after their kids? And it didn't matter they were grown adults, you're never too old for your parents.

Barry wished he was more aware of the people around him. Ella always was, TJ always was. But Barry's been so caught up in himself to realize just how much people around him were hurting. And that needed to change.

* * *

When Joe and Barry left, Ella didn't go to STAR Labs like she promised. She had every thought of doing so when she promised, but then she began thinking, and when that happened, it was hard to get her to stop.

She thought of Decree torturing her. She thought of waking up in the lab eight months later, and she thought of when she lost control and stroke that little boy down with lightning. All of the pain she felt with Decree was probably nothing that sweet little boy felt when he came to her looking for comfort and instead got his skin burned off.

It was still dark outside when Ella was left alone. Barry and Joe had been called in before their shift officially started. She still felt shaken and she didn't want to be alone, but she didn't want to be with people that would only try to make her feel better. Because in reality, she did a horrible thing. Whether or not she was in control, she did a horrible thing to a child.

Ella never got the boy's name and he was haunting her thoughts right now. All the while she showered and got dressed, he planted himself in her mind. As she was brushing her hair, her eyes followed the lightning that ran over her fingers, that she couldn't feel, but apparently made other people feel good. Maybe if he was in pain while he was healing, Ella could comfort him? Could she maybe take away the pain during the time she touched him?

It was then Ella decided to try to make a difference with her morning. She teleported to the lab, hoping to find empty rooms. She knew Harry stayed somewhere on the premise, and at any given time Caitlin or Cisco sometimes came in early due to sleepless nights, so she was relieved to a quiet lab, deprived of Cisco's fun chatter, Caitlin's heels clacking against the floor, and Harry's know all stare- things she had come to look forward to seeing.

Ella booted up one of the computers in the main room and typed in 'ellapeterson' and the crazy number/letter password combination she came up with for her account within STAR Labs. It didn't much prying on her end, thanks to the rigged up software, to get into the hospitals databases and found information on Mason Harris, the barely 7 year old boy with severe burns in ICU.

After gathering the information she needed, Ella found her way to the case that displayed her suit and pulled it down. Wishing she had superspeed like Barry to put this on in a blink of an eye, she quickly stripped to bra and underwear and pulled the suit over her body.

As Ella zipped up the front, she had to admit, she felt pretty invincible in her costume. She had never fit anywhere like she fit in the purple and silver get up. She slid the mask over her face and pulled her gloves on.

She really felt like 'Bolt' in that moment.

* * *

Even though Ella had looked over the floor plans, she was scared to try to teleport into Mason's room without actually having been there before, so she found herself in single bathroom outside of the nurses station instead.

She pushed the door open slightly to peer out, seeing a nurse typing something into a computer and another walking past the door, pushing a medical cart. When the nurse passed, she opened the door ever so slightly more, trying to catch room numbers to locate Mason's room.

Ella crept out of the bathroom and quickly ran to take cover in front of the desk, out of few of the nurse in the station. After finding Mason's room number, she bent low and quietly walked around the desk. Now she was only ten feet and a door away from the boy, but now the nurse was facing her, though Ella was still squatted. However her head was bent over the computer.

The door to Mason's room was slightly ajar. She figured his mother was in the room. Would she be awake? It wasn't even 7am. Exhaustion had to have taken over her sometime when PM crossed over to AM. If the mother was still awake, Ella decided she'd take it as a sign she wasn't suppose to be there.

Though somehow she had to get there without the nurse noticing her, and before the nurse making rounds came out from a room again. Ella turned another corner, still hidden, and peered over the top of the counter. She took a deep breath and made a small bolt of lightning fall from the ceiling, from behind the nurse at the desk.

The women jumped and turned around to figure out the noise, and Ella took that as her moment to run.

Once in the room, Ella was met with darkness, slightly lit up with the glow of an IV machine. She let out a quiet breath of relief when she saw the lady presumably the mother, sleeping straight up in a chair by Mason's bed. Her neck was going to ache when she woke up…

Ella took a deep breath to calm herself and brought herself to the edge of Mason's bed. His eyes suddenly popped open and a sound of surprise escaped his lips. Mrs Harris stirred in her chair.

"Shhh, Mason. I'm a friend of the Flash. You know who the Flash is?" Ella spoke in barely a whisper, leaning in so Mason could hear her. His mouth had opened to alert his mom, but those words got stuck in his throat. He nodded, though his eyes shone with suspicion. And unmaskable pain.

"I'm Flash's friend. He calls me Bolt and I'm trying to be a superhero like him. I can try to make your pain go away, if you'll let me, Mason. He was there when you were hurt. He told me," Ella said, feeling slightly guilty that she didn't mention she was there too. "Can I try?" Though Ella spoke quietly, she was worried she'd wake up Mrs Harris and when Mason nodded his consent, she didn't speak another word.

There was a small patch of bare skin on his arm. Ella took a deep breath and pulled her gloves off her hands. The way Mason's eyes widened at the lightning running around her hands heightened her anxiety and caused the room to thicken with static.

"It's okay," Ella barely breathed. She could tell Mason was barely breathing too.

With another deep breath, and Barry's voice in her head telling her breathing techniques, she gently placed her hands on unblemished skin. _Please work_ , Ella thought, closing her eyes, _please make the pain go away_.

The little bolts escaped the confines of her fingers and wrapped around Mason's body instead. Ella let out a gasp and tried to pull away, but she couldn't break the lightning streak. Mason whimpered and that was when Mrs Harris jerked up in her chair.

"What the… get away, get away from him!" She suddenly screamed, flinging herself at Ella. With a pop, the connection broke and Ella fell to the ground. "Help! Help me!" Mason's mother called to outside the room.

"Stop, Momma!" Mason suddenly cried, and his mother's eyes jerked over to him. He was unraveling the wrap on his arm. "Momma, the burns are gone."

Ella pushed herself up and bolted up and out of the room.

* * *

Cisco was rubbing his tired eyes when an alert dinged on his computer. He sat at his desk, looking at the ready, but truthfully his mind was back at his apartment with Faye, a couple nights before, standing in his kitchen, looking like one of his fantasies come to life. She only stayed long enough to feed him a line of promises and to get a promise out of him, before sauntering out his door.

The promise from Cisco being he wouldn't tell his friends about her. When he pointed out how shady she sounded, she smiled a million watt smile, and continued on with her promises. She promised he could tell them soon, just not right now.

Faye also promised heightened Vibe's abilities (he couldn't deny the excitement when words like 'mind control' and 'mind melting' came out of her lips) and help against a warlock gang that was coming in a couple weeks. Soon enough he'd be getting more visions of the future and will learn a shocking discovery about Zoom. And that if Cisco asked out Ella, she'd say yes.

But he didn't. It was against guy code… right? The girl your best friend's been prophesied to be with, though that said friend is fighting it with all he's got, she's off limits.

So when his computer dinged a notification, it startled Cisco a bit more than it should have.

' _Friend of the Flash' Heals 7 Year Old Boy_

Cisco was met with the headline. He clicked the link and the full article popped up.

 _The 7 year old boy that was kidnapped four days ago and struck by lightning was resting in his hospital room, unable to sleep due to pain when a women dressed in a purple and silver costume and a masked bursted into the room._

" _I was really scared at first, but she promised she was a friend of the Flash's and he's my favorite superhero._ _He saved me when I was kidnapped,_ _" Mason Harris_ _told officials in a statement. "She told me her name was Bolt and she could make the pain go away."_

 _But he wasn't told HOW Bolt could take away the pain._

" _It looked really scary at first, I was covered in lightning! But it didn't hurt. Momma woke up though and made her stop, but I felt so much better that I didn't think I needed the bandages, and I took them off. And I_ was _! I_ _was_ _all better!" Mason finished his account of the story, to everyone's amazement._

' _All Better' wasn't an understatement. As well as severe burns, Mason Harris suffered from a_ _ruptured_ _ear drum, the loss of feeling in his legs, and signs of_ _Parkinson Disease,_ _all possible side effects of being struck by lightning_ _._ _It was seeming unlikely he'd make a full recovery._

 _However the authorities are uncertain in_ _the_ _fact Bolt was the one that inflicted the lightning that struck Mason_ _in the first place_ _and was trying to right a wrong. Investigations are pending, but keep connected with us to_ _stay updated_ _!_

Cisco leaned back in his chair, staring at the smiling face of Mason. The same hands she had touched his shoulder with, calming his internal meltdown, were the same hands that healed this boy of the side effects of being struck by lightning? Amazing.

He stood up then, to go find Caitlin in the lab, and show her the article, and managed to walk in the moment Ella touched down- in front of the desk this time, but alas still landing on her butt.

"I did a pretty damn good job on your suit, El. Or should I say Bolt?" Cisco put in as he admired the way the costume perfectly fit her body.

"That was remarkable," Caitlin stated, having just walked in the room to run something by Cisco. She walked over to Ella and offered a hand.

Ella accepted it, and stood up with a grin. "I think I had a good morning."

"Yeah, I read about it," Cisco replied, mirroring her grin. She locked eyes with him and pulled him into a hug.

"Wait, what'd you read, Cisco? And why are you wearing the suit, Ella?" Caitlin asked, her head moving up and down as she took in the suit Ella was wearing. Cisco thought maybe she _had_ been affected by the explosion and her power was the ability to go from normal to rigid mother in zero point two seconds flat.

He didn't want to, but he pulled away from Ella's unexpected hug then. Ella hadn't faced the wrath of Caitlin quite yet, he had on numerous occasions. He hoped to defuse her before she exploded.

"Thanks for the suit, Cisco. I think I can do this now," she said, her hand still on his arm. _Who created the guy code anyway…_

"I'm _waiting_ ," Caitlin reminded with a severe expression and a look crossed Ella's face. She was catching on.

"Well, I, uh, I went to go see the boy I hurt the other day. I just-I just thought I'd relieve his pain for a little bit..." Ella began explaining as Caitlin eyes widened, possibly threatening to fall out. Oh, Caitlin was going to lay it on her…

"Even though you don't know the extent of your powers and all your testing hasn't fully come back yet?" Caitlin asked in full on mother mode.

"Yeah, yeah, even though that," Ella winced before quickly going on, "But! But instead of just taking away the pain, it _healed_ him. I don't- I don't even know how!" She ended excitedly, and though Cisco knew Caitlin wasn't really mad about that, and she was probably happy he had been healed, Caitlin didn't look like it.

"You still didn't _know_ , Ella, what would happen..."

"Well, you don't know till you do," Ella replied, causing Caitlin to give her another look. "All right, if it'll make you feel better, let's go take some blood or check my, I don't know, liver or something."

Caitlin pursed her lips, not wanting to indulge Ella, with ' _why can't a normal person walk through this door_ ' thought written in her eyes. "Fine," she said, before sighing, "And it's actually super cool you healed him, you don't even know, Ella..."

* * *

After Barry finished his reports for the day, he headed over to STAR Labs to begin his night job. Ella had finally subjected to a day of complete testing and she looked exhausted by the time he arrived.

"Barry!" Ella said excitedly, a smile lighting up her tired eyes, at his arrival.

"Hey, El," He greeted back, and suddenly the light in her eyes dimmed. What did he do? "Saw you took Bolt for a spin and nobody caught fire, so good job."

"Aren't you going to tell her she should be more careful and not go out till she has more control over her powers?" Caitlin immediately put in as she typed something on the computer. She didn't even look up at him.

"I was gonna get there, Caitlin. I was more excited over the fact she can freaking heal people, but you know… I better ream her out first," Barry replied sarcastically, though smiled when Caitlin looked up at him, causing her to roll her eyes.

"I just think she should know more before going out into the world like that," Caitlin defended herself.

"I know, I know," Ella finally put in, "I'd just done… so much bad. I could just feel I could do this one good thing. But I should have waited and brought someone with me. Because you're right, I'm nowhere near in control." She looked down and played with her glove covered hands, a pained expression on her face.

"You still did good today, Ella. Just something to do in the future," Harry said, walking in the room.

Barry looked over at his entrance and found Iris trailing in behind him. "It's so sad about TJ, Barry," Iris came over to him and briefly hugged him.

"I know," He replied, sounding a bit deflated.

"Any leads?" Iris asked, and Barry shook his head. "I just don't understand how anyone could have something against the Thomas'."

"Who's TJ?" Ella asked, concern etched in her face, walking over to them.

"He was our receptionist at the station. Him and his wife were murdered last night," Barry explained flatly. "He was like… a grandfather, I guess. He's worked at the station for over ten years."

"Sorry, Barry," Ella replied quietly, a look of grief passing through her eyes. She rubbed his arm before walking back over to Caitlin. Barry wished she wasn't still wearing the gloves. He could use some calm right now, or possibility healing.

Iris opened her mouth to say something, but Barry's phone went off, and he didn't hear it. He pulled it out of his pocket and found it was Joe calling him. He quickly answered the phone.

"Bear, there's another hit in progress." Joe didn't say anything more and hung up the phone.

"Suit up, Ella. We're going," There was barely even a pause and Barry was in his Flash outfit, "out."

* * *

Kinda intended a bit more to happen in this chapter but somehow I got to 5,000 words and only got to three of the five things I had planned for this chapter :/ so I'm breaking it off here. Oh well. I was going to surprise y'all but I'll just tell you now… Flarrow next chapter I'm so excited! Please let me know how I'm doing? xx Anna :)


	7. Holding It Together

**CHAPTER SIX: HOLDING IT TOGETHER**

Ella was going to have to work on how fast it took her to change, she thought to herself with an annoyed sigh. Before Barry had even finished his sentence, he was in his suit. While it didn't take long for her to get her suit, putting the dang thing on was a different story. Maybe it was because her fingers shook with nerves and she kept fumbling with her clothing, or maybe her suit was just a bit too tight and that's why it fell from her hands as she tried to pull it on.

 _A bit of both_ , Ella grumbled in her mind. She sighed in relief when she finally zipped it up and she teleported back too the main room.

Barry had been anxiously pacing back and forth before she reappeared, probably regretting his decision to take her a long. He walked over to where she stood and asked, "You good for this, El? Now's the time to not get involved." Ella nodded, so he continued on, "You know Forest Run, the apartment complex by the movie theater?"

"Yeah," she replied, remembering the street its on and forming the building of the apartment in her mind. "I've never been in, but I can meet you out front."

"Okay, see you there." And with that, Barry disappeared in a flash.

Ella took a deep breath and with the building in her mind eye's, she willed herself to be there. Her body began to tingle as her skin morphed into silver and she elongated into lightning.

As she bolted away, she tried to keep her eyes open, but so many colors flashed around her, that it was a bit too dizzying. Her eyes shut and in an instant, she was in front of the apartment building. Barry was standing a little ways off and she walked up to him and they both continued inside.

Barry chewed his lip as they ran towards the stairs and Ella knew she had to send him ahead. After getting the room and floor number, he left her climbing up the stairs. It wasn't long after that she heard Barry's voice through her ear piece, "Going in."

"Careful, Barry," Caitlin replied, worriedly.

Another flight or so later, Cisco asked, "What's going on, Barry?"

There was a long silence and the voice of Barry did not fill it.

"El, where's your location?" Cisco asked worriedly, after another long beat.

"Stairwell. I- hold on," she paused, looking up the stairwell. Only a handful of flights left, but if hey, if this works for the future. "I've got an idea."

Ella could see the railings all the way up to the floor she needed to be. It's been, give or take, twenty years since she did gymnastics, but she thought she could teleport to where she could see now. She just had to make sure to grab railings before she fell her to her death. Easy, right?

Caitlin sighed through Ella's earpiece. "We have another person to remind to be careful now. Seriously, Ella, be safe."

"Wish me luck," she replied before imagining herself up those couple flights

A startled scream escaped her when Ella's hand gripped the railing, but she caught herself. Her feet dangled above quite a few flights of stairs, but thanks to Cisco's genius, her hands didn't sleep.

"Ella!" Cisco cried, and Ella grunted in response. Well, partially for response.

Other part went to the fact she was pulling herself over the rail. Ella kicked her leg over the rail and she flipped off, intending to land gracefully on her feet, but ended up landing hard on her side.

"Oompf," she muttered on impact, though she managed a more graceful attempt to her feet, and they echoed the stairwell as she ran up the last few steps.

"All right, girl, I need some words to accompany those grunts," Cisco said after a pause

"Hallway," Ella bit out before shhhing him. She could hear voices from an open door down the hall.

"I always knew you were in the CCPD's pocket, Flash," a male voice spat out. "I thought you wanted to _save_ people. That's not their mission."

She crept slowly against the wall, the closer she got. Barry began, "That's not-"

"THEY LET MY FAMILY DIE AND YOU ARE DEFENDING THEM," the first voice suddenly bellowed, causing Ella to flinch, though she wasn't even in the room.

She dared to peek her head into the room and her stomach immediately hit the floor. They were too late. Three bodies laid on the floor, blood painted the wall and settled into the carpet. Barry stood in such a rigid posture by the bodies that it looked like his body might just snap in half.

"He's talking to Barry," Ella barely breathed to Cisco and Caitlin, then directed her words to Barry. "I'm here, Bear." She double clicked her speaker off then, not wanting the guys at the lab to hear what was about to go down.

She saw Barry's head tilt in her direction and she flung her head back, not daring to poke her head in anymore.

"And so you're doing the same thing to their family- and not even the officers on the case? How does that make you any better?" Barry yelled back, his whole body shaking with fury.

"My family is what made me better, and without my family… nothing matters. Nothing matters but seeing them suffer like I did. And I'm not the only one who feels that way," the man's sneer was evident in his tone. "You're on their side, Flash, and so you will suffer like them."

Arms suddenly grabbed Ella from behind and she yelped in surprise. She was pushed into the room in an instant. She was pinned against her captor. Ella tried to jerk away, but a hand was brought to her eye level. A hand holding a blade rather tightly.

Her breath hitched and she went limp against the one holding her.

Images ran through her mind.

 _ _Ella was tied to a wooden chair_ _

__he sliced the tip of the blade over her face and arms_ _

__He took the long side of his blade and sliced her stomach-__

"Word around the block is that she means a thing or two to you." A man with overgrown, graying hair sat nonchalantly on a ripped up couch. "Knew I could get you to stay around if I started talking."

Barry said something in reply, but all Ella could hear was her gasping breath.

"What's wrong with you?" a low voice whispered in her ear and a feeling she know recognized began to burn its way out of her pounding chest. In her panicked state, her vision came in blinks. Blink: she was looking at Barry, blink: she was looking at the man on the couch, blink: she wasn't in her captors arms anymore, blink: she was looking at him from across the room.

Blink: lightning lit up the room.

Blink: she was standing in the middle of a street.

Ella fell to her knees and ragged breaths scraped against her throat.

"I don't understand it," Barry spat from above her. She looked up and saw him, his position the same rigid one she saw in the apartment room. "There is no way in hell we'll ever end up together. There is no way I can help you."

And with that, he was gone.

* * *

Barry went back to his office at the station and basically just angrily swapped papers around. He forcefully tried to hold onto this anger, though it quickly ebbed away, and facing himself was something he didn't want to do.

Picking up a paper weight, he chucked it at the wall, letting out a shout.

"You done?" a familiar voice began from the shadows. Oliver appeared into view in his Arrow suit.

"Uhh- I- yeah," Barry answered, head low in defeat. He let out a long sigh, running his hands through his hair.

"I heard something about a murder," Oliver put in, his voice low. He stood to the side, his arms behind his back.

Barry held his sigh in this time, air filling his cheeks before he released it. "Yeah."

"I need a more informative answer than 'yeah', Barry," Oliver replied, sharply. He placed his bag of arrows on Barry's desk.

Barry rubbed his forehead, trying to rub away the irritation he felt. What was wrong with him?

"There's this guy murdering employees of the station. First, the receptionist and his family. Second, the janitor and two women who were… unidentifiable at my moment of inspection. I think he's trying to work his way up to the officers. Tried to get me and Ella while we were there," Barry said in a dead tone.

Oliver nodded slowly. "Where's Ella now?"

"I'm not her keeper!" Barry snapped in response, before pressing two fingers to the bridge of his nose.

"Yeah, you kind of are, Barry." His voice stayed relatively even, in a state of matter of fact.

"I didn't ask for this." Barry cringed inwardly, hating the sound of him adult-whining.

"Yeah, you kind of did," Oliver replied, a bit harshly with his honesty.

"But I-"

"All right, listen. Barry. I..." Oliver slightly chuckled to himself. "I'm normally one to place the blame on myself, even when it might have technically not have even been my fault. You, on the other head, seem to be blaming everyone but yourself, when you need to take responsibility for this." His laugh didn't last long and Barry could tell he was dead serious.

And it majorly pissed him off, though before he could respond, his phone went off.

Ella's face popped up on the screen. His finger slid across it to answer and he snapped, "What?"

"Barry, don't hate me," Ella's voice begged over the phone, "but I messed up. In a completely different way than… normal. Like I didn't kill anyone or anything. But I saved someone."

Hearing her frightened tone made Barry wonder something then, something that caused all his anger and bitterness to dissipate and cause shame to replace it… was she as scared of him as he is scared of her?

"With my mask off."

Dammit.

* * *

On her knees in the middle of an empty street, Ella stood and pulled her mask off, and flung it in frustration. Tears steamed down her face, though she swore to herself she was done crying.

Through blurred vision, she looked around, finding herself in a neighborhood. Even Ella wasn't stupid enough to know she needed to get away from the public eye, but… where? Barry's made it clear he doesn't want anything to do with her and where are her two safe places? The lab and Barry's freaking house.

And then Ella heard a shout. _They found her_ is the only thing that panicked through her mind, but there was another yell, and the hearing flooded back in her ears. Her eyes darted down the street in just enough time to see two men tumble the stairs.

"David!" Another man bursted through the opened door. Ella could see his chest rise up and down as he tried to catch his breath.

"Rob, _I told you,"_ one of the other men began through clenched teeth. They rolled around on the ground and it wasn't long before Ella saw the glint of a knife. "To stay inside!"

"No!" Rob shouted, before trying to pull the one with the knife off, that ended in result of the armed man turning to him. "Oh. Oops."

Now that the man with the knife wasn't connected to either of the other seemingly innocent ones, Ella decided to make a move. She bolted behind the man and put a hand on his back, before taking a deep breath, preparing herself for the energy surge she was about to conduct. She couldn't lose control. Ella could not lose control.

She imagined the lightning was a water faucet and her breath was the handle. Slowly exhaling, the bolts slowly flowed from her fingertips to his back. Ella was being careful, but apparently not careful enough, as the man shook slightly with lightning, and she sucked in all her breath, pulling her hand away.

He fell to the ground, twitching slightly.

"No. No, I didn't k-… no," Ella gasped to herself, and bent town, placing fingers on his neck. She fell back on her knees when she felt beats beneath her fingers. "He's still alive!" The relief was evident in her voice and she looked up to face the other men.

It was then that Ella truly took in the men before her. One dressed in simple clothing, jeans and a sweater, and the other… dressed in blue. The name tag called him Captain Singh.

Singh stood there, slightly gaping at Ella, in her partial Bolt costume. What has she done?

"Don't… don't tell anyone, please," Ella begged, before swallowing herself in a lightning bolt and zapping away, though not before making a pit shop at the place she dropped her mask to begin with and tied it back on.

The next place she landed was the second place she felt safe- Barry's home. It was empty, with Joe being at work, and she truthfully had no idea where Barry was anymore.

But Ella knew he had to be her first call. She had to ask him about Singh and she had to tell him she made a mistake… again.

She pulled out her phone from a small compartment in her suit and with trembling hands, brought up Barry's contact. Ella pressed call.

"What?" he immediately snapped, causing Ella to flinch through the phone.

"Barry, don't hate me," Ella begged, terrified this might be the time she lost him for good, "but I messed up. In a completely different way than… normal. Like I didn't kill anyone or anything. But I saved someone."

There was complete silence on the other end and Ella finished breathlessly, "With my mask off."

"I guess… I guess we need to talk," Barry replied weakly. "Arrow and I will meet you at the lab. Ella, we're work this out."

Ella swallowed hard. Of course she heard of the Arrow, and she found out recently it was Oliver Queen. Though thanks to her wallflower ability and not because anyone particularly trusted her with that secret… however it was a secret she'd take to the grave. But also a secret Oliver didn't know Ella had, she assumed.

And then another thing registered with her… Barry was back to being nice with her? His moodswings were wearing her out.

"You're not mad?" Ella practically squeaked out, and Barry let out a long sigh.

"Come to the lab. We'll talk," He replied, sounding defeated.

"But it was-"

"I'll literally see you in a second, El. It can wait," Barry cut her off, trying to make his voice light. But it sounded strained even in Ella's ears, but at least he was trying?

The phone disconnected then and though in more than just one second, but not much more, Ella was back in the lab, surrounded by eyes full of questions and bodies bracing for the answers.

* * *

I thought there would be more Flarrow this chapter, but as you can see… I guess it'll be in the next one. ;) also a little more of Faye, maybe a bit more backstory. And don't worry, Barry will stop acting like a two year soon enough lol and Joe and Singh talk about some elephants in the room. Just some things to hopefully catch your interest for the next chapter haha

as always, please let me know what you're thinking! xx Anna


	8. To Have Faith

AN: so that Flash season premiere really hit me with some inspiration to continue with this. :) I remembered all the ideas I had for the sequel of Wallflower and how it involved a bit of Flashpoint, and then I was thinking about how much I had planned for this story… and how much I love Ella. And Barry. And endgame Ella and Barry. Bella? …. Elarry? :P (oh I actually like the sound of Elarry hahaha) I'm so lame I'm so sorry… but this is it. thanks for all the love in my absence!

PS. I also realized when I was reading through my story earlier I don't know how to count and I missed chapter four and went straight to five and somehow managed to have two chapter sixes hahahaha

PPS. next chapter will contain all the Flarrow! I know I've been promising this for months… it will be called 'An Arrow Of Truth' and I've literally named the past two chapters that, only to realize it's not going to happen. but it's definitely happening this time, so stay tuned! REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK xx

* * *

 **Chapter Seven: To Have Faith**

After Ella began to appear in the lightning bolt that lit up the lab, Barry could immediately tell she was shaken. Her face was pale and her eyes were wide, and her chest rose and fell roughly. His hand ran through his hair. When she went crazy in that tiny apartment and killed the murderer's accomplice, he shouldn't have yelled at her and disappeared.

Yet another thing was his fault. Ella losing her identity to someone was a direct line of error from him. She was just scared and needed Barry's help… and he let his own fear guide how he treated her. No more.

"El, you okay?" Cisco was the first to speak. He walked over to her and squeezed her shoulder and she gave a watery smile, before breathing deeply and visibly trying to pull herself together.

"Captain Singh saw, and his husband. I'm going to… I'm going to go talk to him, as Ella, and try to explain. Maybe they haven't identified me yet, and if they have…" She didn't finish that thought, but began another one, "I'm so sorry for this. I'll do everything I can to fix this."

And before Barry or Oliver or Caitlin could put in another word, she was gone.

"Yeahhh, can't get much worse than Singh," Cisco said in a dry tone, his arm slowly falling back to his side.

"Well, there's a slight chance Singh didn't tell," Caitlin put in, though her face mirrored different words.

"It's… it's my fault. She flipped at the apartments and then I yelled at her. She can't do this alone," Barry finally said and stiffened to try to follow her, though he wasn't quite sure where she was.

"Barry, wait-" Oliver began, reaching out for him, but it was too late.

When Barry opened his eyes again, he was in a different room in the lab. Not too far away, really only just a room over, but that's exactly where Ella was.

She was struggling to get out of her suit, a combination of shaking hands and not enough practice.

"Ella." Barry said her name softly, but she still startled. She looked up at him, nervously, but still continued pulling her arms out of the sleeves.

"The only time I've ever wished I had super speed since meeting you is getting in and out of this dang thing," Ella finally said, her voice slightly shaking. She got it down to her waist, down to her feet, before kicking it off. She stood there in her bra and underwear and Barry felt weirdly affected by the sight, but he pushed it away. No time for that, though he wasn't actually sure where to look. The tips of his ears began to redden.

"I'm not letting you do this alone. Go as Ella, go as Bolt, I don't care who you are, but I'm not letting you do this alone."

"Your mood swings are so exhausting, Barry. One moment you want nothing to do with me and the next you're not leaving me alone. I can't… I can't, Barry. I can't handle them," Ella replied, genuinely sounding tired to match her words. She grabbed her jeans from the folded pile on the floor and began putting them on.

He looked toward the wall, not wanting her to see his flushing cheeks, though she wasn't looking at him anyways. Was his attraction to her Fate talking, or his choice?

Why did it matter?

Again he pushed those thoughts away and said, letting out a sigh, "I'm all shades of messed up right now, El. It's not every day I bring someone back from the dead or people I don't even know is telling things about my future. I'm just kind of a bit freaking out right now."

She pulled on her shirt, but Barry still couldn't look at her.

"Barry, I-"

"And I'm taking it out on you. And it's wrong. And I'm sorry. I was recently told I need to own to all I've done and I've done so much, that I'm… overwhelmed," Barry spoke over Ella in rush, trying to get the words out before he lost them.

Her mouth opened for a second, though nothing came out. She looked like she wanted to say something, but she held it back. Ella's lips closed before forming a smile. "Okay. Okay, I could really use you as support, Bear. Thank you for coming with me."

* * *

Ella would have loved to use Barry as support for confronting Singh… if she could actually confront him. She checked his home and then the station, and neither Barry or her knew where to check next.

Barry was able to find the report on the incident when they stopped by the station, and to both of their reliefs, placed a fully suited Bolt at the scene.

After trying to locate him through some officers and still failing, they decided to head home, and try again in the morning.

Ella's secret was safe… for now.

They had agreed to meet at Barry's home, but instead he stopped at the turn of his street. Ella, despite the motion of color that made her slightly dizzying, had kept her eyes open on her way back, and saw his bright ray of light stop, and so she did too. Ella swayed slightly upon landing.

"Well, looks like you did good with your powers today, El. Just gotta give you a lesson in not revealing your identity," Barry joked, bumping Ella's shoulder. She tried to smile, but it was tight and she knew Barry could tell she was still worried. "And you'll get the hang of it. Maybe Singh didn't get a good look at your face. Maybe the stress of the situation made his memory of the whole thing a bit foggy. It'll be okay," he tried to comfort her in a low voice, but it didn't help much.

"I don't feel okay," Ella finally admitted the thing she'd been trying so hard to hide. A jagged sigh escaped her and she looked at the ground.

"Ella, you don't have to be okay all of the time," he said softly, his eyes fighting to meet hers, but hers were steadfast, staring intensely at a clump of lose gravel in the street.

"But I… I don't want to be a burden, Barry. It's all I've ever been, but I didn't realize till my mother killed me of how much of it I was. I don't know how.. not to be one." The words came out in a rush, and before they were done, she began to walk back to the house, as if she could get away from those feelings faster.

"That's the last thing I think you as, El. I started this mess by bringing you back, but I don't regret it. I don't regret you in my life at all. Now, as we fight to control your new powers, and before, when your powers were only being there for people, for being kind, and steady," Barry replied, catching up with her. Her eyes jerked up to meet his, wide at his words. He noticed her before all of this? Somebody had actually noticed her?

"And Caitlin's right, you know. I had to push myself for my powers to grow… yours came out this powerful. You'll get it, though. I promised in the beginning we'd all help you, and I meant it," Barry finished, his eyes still on hers.

They made it to Barry's house at this point, standing in the walkway, but before Ella could reply, a flicker of movement in the window distracted them.

"Singh's here!" Barry exclaimed, before pulling him and Ella out of view of the window.

"What's he doing here!?" Ella whispered, glancing back at the window were Joe and Singh stood in the middle of the living room. She started to breath heavily.

"El, it's fine. Meet me upstairs. I'll see what's going on," Barry replied, causing Ella to bite her lip, but she did what she was told.

She imagined Iris' room and she felt her body melt into a bolt, and in a blink, she was there.

* * *

Barry did exactly as he said he would. He tried to play it cool as he unlocked the door with his keys and entered, but it was really hard to do that when the captain of the police force was in your living room.

"Captain Singh! What are you doing here?" Barry exclaimed as he walked through the door, an exaggerated look of confusion on his face. He noticed right away there was something slightly off with Singh. His hair was a mess, like he'd run his fingers through it one too many times. His eyes were slightly too wide and he breathed a bit too roughly.

Singh breathed deeply, his face relaxing ever so slightly. "I was just leaving, Allen. See you both tomorrow." He started for the door, and Barry looked at Joe, who slightly nodded. Barry backed away from the door to let Singh out.

"Yeah, see you then," Barry replied, and shut the door behind him when he left. Barry turned abruptly to find Joe rubbing his beard, before plopping down on the couch.

"Wow," Joe finally said to Barry, before looking around. "Where's Ella?"

"Here." Ella appeared at the top of the stairs. "Does he know? What did he say? Why did he-" she shot off the questions, but Joe waved his hand to silence her. She swallowed and entered the living room. Barry sat next to Joe, but Ella stood pacing as she waited for Joe to answer her questions.

"He knows, and he knows that I know," Joe took a deep breath, before finishing, "but he's not going to tell anyone."

Ella stopped pacing then, and her shoulders dropped all the anxiety she'd been carrying over it. "Why is he protecting me?"

"Because you asked him, and I promised the Flash was looking after you," Joe answered, but paused to think. He had more to say. "You have so much potential, Ella, and he easily believed you were trying your hardest to do good, but… so far you've proven you can't control your powers and that is something to worry about," He finished carefully, but her face fell nonetheless. "No one is saying you won't learn to control them, and I have complete faith in you, Ella, but if it proves to be too much, and you hurt more people, it's on us for knowing and not doing anything."

Her eyes dropped to the floor, but not before Barry saw how shiny they got. "I-I know. I'm dangerous."

"But we all are, all of us metas, in a way. I've got your back, though, El," he was quick to reassure, but her eyes still stayed down, as Joe voiced what she was actually thinking.

"You've done a pretty bad job at demonstrating that, Bear," Joe replied, a stern eyebrow raised at him, and Ella was surprised to see Barry hang his head in shame.

"I know running is kind of my thing, but I'm going to give taking it slow a go. At least, you know, when lives aren't at stake. One day at a time, for… _everything_ ," Barry said, catching Ella's eye, though losing it again when he emphasized 'everything'.

"Sounds good," Ella smiled, though her heart ached. Feeling so close to Barry, yet so far away.

"Yeah?" Hope filled Barry's one word response.

"Yeah."

* * *

Early the next morning, Ella was woken by her phone going off. Exhausted had worn her into a dreamless sleep and at this point she'd take what she can get, but not only was she confused from the lack of sunlight peeking through her window, but also because only four people in existence had the number to the phone Cisco gave her a couple days ago, and it wasn't Caitlin, Harry, Barry, or him who was calling her. She didn't recognize the number.

"Hello?" She answered sleepily, scooting up against the bed post. The movement slightly clearing her tired brain, though a few webs of sleep where harder to shake off.

Zoom wouldn't call her, would he? That thought blew the remaining webs away.

"We haven't exactly met yet, but I'm the Arrow, and I'm about to give you a crash course in how to defend yourself. Meet me at the lab in ten minutes."


	9. An Arrow Of Truth (guest star: Arrow)

**AN:** I thought I was going to post this sooner and then I started a new show on Netflix and my life fell apart, but here I am. Plugging along in my little Flash story! Writing Oliver's teaching thing is literally the hardest I've ever done. Google has been my friend, unless what I've written is not good self defense and therefore Google will have declared itself my enemy by feeding me false information.

Also y'all don't understand how much your support means to me. I've had a really tough past couple weeks and to come on here and feel _wanted_ literally means the world. Love you guys!

 **Chapter Eight – An Arrow Of Truth**

"We haven't exactly met yet, but I'm the Arrow, and I'm about to give you a crash course in how to defend yourself. Meet me at the lab in ten minutes."

There was a long pause as Oliver Queen's words sunk in.

"Ten minutes- but I'm not the one with super speed!" Ella finally sputtered out, blurting one of many worries running around her head. Some of the others being _I'm not ready,_ _I'm going to hurt him,_ and _but holy crap it's the freaking Green Arrow_.

A small beat passed before he reiterated impatiently, "Ten minutes," and there was a click on the line. Oliver hung up on her. Ella laid there another second, the phone still pressed against her ear.

"Shoot, shoot, shoot..." She mumbled to herself as she unraveled herself from her cocoon of blankets and tumbled out of bed. Ella stood there for a second, trying to orientate herself. She quickly stepped out of her pajama shorts and pulled off her loose t-shirt and changed into sweatpants and a different loose t-shirt, before wondering if she was suppose to wear her suit.

What do you wear to a crash course in self defense?

What do you wear to meet the Arrow?

What do you wear to meet Oliver Queen?

The three last things Ella ever thought she'd have to plan an outfit for, but she thought she should focus more so on the self defense bit than anything else. She could do it.

Ugh, the friends her friends keep.

Finally deciding on that, she rushed to the bathroom to run a brush through her hair and knotted it into a lose bun and another brush over her teeth. Then Ella stood in the mirror, taking a deep breath. She could do this. It would be okay.

She went back to the bedroom and slipped on her shoes, before quietly padding out to the hall and knocking softly on Barry's door, as to not wake up Joe, but there was silence on the other end. She knocked again, before slowly opening the door a crack.

"Bear?" There was no response, so she opened it more, before realizing the room was dark. Ella swung it opened to find Barry sleeping, sprawled out on his bed.

"Barry!" She exclaimed, striding into his room. "What are you doing!?" Barry startled awake, bolting up before taking a second to assess the situation. He flopped back down and closed his eyes after just finding Ella looming angrily over him.

"Whaaat?" he moaned out, but he shifted to his back. His face turned to her, but his eyes stayed shut, and he groaned tiredly.

"Barry!" Ella cried, exasperated, "You're not ready!" A hand went to run her fingers through her hair before she remembered her hair was up, and it flopped to her side.

"For what?" he asked, finally peeking one eye open, and stretching into a more sitting up position.

"The thing with Oliver in like three minutes… the crash course in self defense," Ella answered, annoyed. "C'mon, you can't be late, you have freaking super speed! And he kind of scares me, just a little bit, so please, please help me make a good impression."

Barry let out a grunt that Ella thought was suppose to be a laugh, for the corners of lips lifted in a quick grin. He fell back against his bed and shut his eyes. "Sorry, El, training with Oliver is like a superhero right of passage, and it's something you must do alone."

"But..." Ella sputtered out, but she was at a loss of words to say. She didn't want to do this without Barry! He was the only reason she was getting use to this new world. He was the only one who could stop her if she lost control! "I can't stay in control without you."

"Oliver's good at what he does and I have faith in you, El. Plus you have your gloves, you'll be fine. I'll catch up with you later, but for now: good luck and don't be late," Barry advised, scooting back down in his covers. "Oh, and watch your back. He's shot me in mine."

* * *

Ella arrived in the lab with one minute to spare. The sun had began to peek through Barry's blinds when she left his room and bolted here, but the harsh lights of the lab was a bit too much for her eyes, and she winced upon arrival.

Oliver already stood in the room, in complete Arrow attire, assessing her (j _udging her_ , her mind whispered). "Good morning," he greeted, but it was in a tight voice. To match his tight jaw. And tight body.

"'Morning," Ella mumbled back in response, her anxiety threatening to take over. She couldn't shut down in front of Oliver, but the thought of the day ahead left her uneasy. She didn't do well with people she didn't know _before_ she died, and now add to the fact she's a bit of a lose cannon and could do some serious damage if she lost control… but gloves. Barry was right. Ella had the gloves now. "I, uh, I didn't know what to wear, but seeing you're in your suit, I should probably get in mine."

Oliver nodded with a curt smile. "Yeah, that's a good idea."

"Be right back." Before the words were completely out of her mouth, she bolted and quickly changed into her suit. She wanted to give herself another pep talk, but she knew she didn't have the time, so she just returned back to the main room instead.

It was quiet for a moment longer before Ella took a long breath and began to speak, "Thanks, Oliver, for doing this..." but he had also started with, "Okay, well, we're..." They both abruptly stopped speaking.

"They told you I'm Oliver Queen."

"Oh! No, they did not tell me… I just, well. Noticed things. And noticed how the gang spoke of Oliver and Arrow and maybe there was a slip up one day, I don't know. I guess. I can make myself invisible- not literally, that would be so cool, but metaphorically. I always know a little too much… it's what got me in this mess to begin with," Ella babbled, her nerves spouting whatever came to her mind through her mouth with no thought process whatsoever. Her gloved hands locked together anxiously. "Me, knowing too much, and me, not telling secrets."

"O-kay… people like you are the ones to look out for," Oliver finally cut in, a faint grin on his face. "Don't worry about it. You seem to worry a lot… there's a healthy degree of worry that clears your mind and helps you make quick decisions. And then there's too much worry, that paralyzes you on the spot and runs too many scenarios around your head. You're the last one. But we'll work on it."

"I either think too much or too little. There's no in between with me..."

"The in between comes with guidance and practice. And today I'm giving you that guidance and Barry will help with the practice after I'm gone." Oliver went on to explain that he had a car outside and we were driving a little outside of the city, to an abandoned little house and an open field where him and Barry trained for the first time.

"I still think Barry should be there with us," Ella said, as they walked together to his car. "He-"

"I know I have a reputation to be a bit scary, but it's effective. If you want to learn-" He cut her off, but it wasn't long before Ella returned the favor.

"For _your_ sake, Oliver! Have you not heard I've killed four people? And I've hurt a child? Do you even know what I'm capable of?"

"Have you not heard I survived on a god forsaken island for five years? That I was known for killing people every single night to protect my city? The things I have seen..." Oliver snapped back. He paused for, no doubt, emphasize before finishing, "You don't scare me, Bolt."

"Being shot through the lung and having _your friend_ bring me back from the dead, and then waking up with uncontrollable powers aren't under your _condescending_ 'things I've seen'? Not even a little bit?" Ella bit back, the air around them thickening like before a storm.

He ran a hand down his face, causing a shock of static electricity to zap his hand, and he just sighed. "No, not really."

Ella looked into the storm in his eyes and took a breath, loosening the air to the normal consistency you'd have in the hall of a building. A storm would not be brewing in one… and there shouldn't be a storm in full force going on inside Oliver.

"Sorry," Ella finally said, wondering if maybe she could take off her gloves and give him a few moments of peace, but then decided against it. The gloves must stay on, no matter what Oliver has seen. For her sanity, if not for his safety.

He gave a curt nod and they walked a couple beats in silence, before Ella couldn't take it anymore.

"Nothing back? Ugh, you're so infuriating."

A genuine grin lit up his face then. "That's what they say."

* * *

Barry wasn't expecting Oliver to wake Ella up before the crack of dawn for training and he equally wasn't expecting Ella barging into his room to at that time either. Though this would be the third time she's popped in his room unannounced, he was just glad it wasn't under 'Zoom was just in my room!' or 'I just had a nightmare about the night I was tortured and died for you!' category.

He knew he couldn't just push off his problems to someone else, but Oliver knew better what he was doing with Ella than Barry would be. Maybe it'll be easier after Oliver's self defense 101.

When Ella finally bolted away to meet Oliver that morning, Barry settled back down deep in his covers and tried get back to where he was being he was interrupted… but a new dream took hold, causing the old one to quickly fade away.

" _Bear."_

 _His nickname was a whisper against his chest. Barry stood facing a window, facing a desk with pictures of him and… a women with a pixie cut with a corner of shaved hair, a smile teasing her cherry lips. It was then he realized he could feel her soft hair against his chin as well. She curved perfectly in the crook of his neck and was pressed so tightly in his arms._

" _Faye?" He realized slowly, pulling away from the small women in his arms. Despite this weird tickle in the back of his mind, his face broke into a grin at the sight of her._

" _Daddy!" A tiny voice called behind him. The title surprised him, but Barry flung around nonetheless to see the little boy running up to him. A name escaped his lips, "Sebastian!"_

" _Daddy, can I have a sip of your coffee again? Please, Daddy, please!" The boy begged, gripping the bottom of Barry shirt in dramatics. Sebastian's dark eyes pleaded with him- well, eye. Lose curls splattered around his head, covering half his face. Today they were going to have to make him get a hair cut, despite Seb's dislike of hair cuts for his first day of preschool. The two parents had decided a trip to the mall with a food court lunch and Dippin' Dots ice cream afterward was a good reward for taming his mess of curls._

' _Barrrry!" Faye chided, a feigned look of annoyance on her face, but then it fell in disappointment when a loud buzzing erupted her pout. "I'll see you at Jitters soon."_

" _Daddy, don't leave yet!" Sebastian cried, flinging his arms around Barry's waist, but he was already fading, and fast._

"Sebastian!" Barry blurted out upon waking up. He jerked straight up, getting caught of his tangled mess of blankets. "Sebastian?" He mumbled to himself, confused on why he yelled out the name, as a image of a little boy with dark eyes and curly hair faded from his mind's eye. What was he dreaming? He had curly hair and needed a hair cut?

Barry shook his head, trying to clear the sleep from his brain, and reached over to turn off his alarm clock. He ran a hand down his face before flinging off the covers and getting out of bed.

A tickle of something nagged the back of his mind, and he had this overwhelming need to get coffee at Jitters before work this morning.

* * *

"Bear!" A voice greeted Barry when he walked in Jitters about twenty minutes later. Her bright lips were the first thing that caught his eye, before focusing in on the rest of her body. She sat at a high top table, heavily leaning against the table. A stretch of lower back teased out from under her black shirt.

"Faye, right?" Barry flashed a smile, too aware of his heart trying to pound out of his chest.

"Knew you wouldn't forget me," She smirked, jumping down from her chair, revealing ripped skin tight jeans, showing off pale skin starting at her pant pockets and ending near her feet. Barry's eyes jerked up back to hers, but Faye knew what she was doing to him.

"Your hair… is pretty hard to forget," He replied lamely, wincing internally. Not that it wasn't, the buzzed left size blending into a pixie cut, but smoother things could have came from his mouth.

Faye nodded slowly, the smile never slipping from her face. "Yeah, I get that a lot."

A silence overcame them as Barry thought of something to keep the conversation going, but he drew a blank. He couldn't even think of something so lame as "it's a nice day outside".

But Faye could find something to say, that immediately made Barry wish he could come up with a topic of conversation.

"So, listen, I didn't mean to upset your friend earlier… of course if some new girl she didn't know came along and thought you were hot, I'd be jealous too. Especially since you clearly don't have the same feelings," She drawled, causing Barry to flush at her words.

"Ah, well, it's complicated..." He stuttered out. Now not flustered at just her looks, she brings Ella into this, who is currently the most confusing and complicated human being in his life.

"Why? You either know you like her. Or you don't," Faye put in, imploringly.

"It's not-"

"That simple? Yeah, it is, Barry," She cut him off, and truthfully Barry couldn't think of a good response.

"I'm going to be late for work. I should go order my coffee," He finally said weakly, but instead of doing what he said he just stood there.

Faye let out a short laugh and didn't say anything more, but Barry didn't know why. She went back to her table and climbed back on her seat, pulling out her phone with one hand, and picked up her coffee with the other. She typed furiously with one finger.

It took another second longer for Barry to unfreeze enough to go up and place his order, and as he waited he watched her out of the corner of his eye.

Why was it so complicated? Why couldn't he be sure of his feelings for Ella? Why did it matter what that seer said, what is supposed Fate? Shouldn't he just go with what he feels?

But what is what he feels… he could love Ella, but not at the expense of his life being controlled by some outside force. He wanted to love Ella because he loved Ella, not because someone who saw the future tells him he loves Ella.

These thoughts went round and around in his head, till he was walking away with his coffee, and Faye interrupted his thoughts.

"Screw complicated. Come to dinner with me tonight."

There was another moment that drew out forever, as if Barry was using his superspeed to think.

It shouldn't be this complicated with Ella. He didn't want to be forced into a relationship by the future.

"Okay."

* * *

Ella and Oliver worked on offense for the first few hours. Ella learned how to use her lightning teleportation to dodge an attack and arrive somewhere else at a different angle, so she could defend herself. He taught her how to punch and how to defend herself and the anxiety Ella was feeling earlier had died down tremendously. There was no reason to worry with the gloves on.

But of course, after she understood what he was teaching her, and felt like she could practice on her own with Barry, Oliver wanted the gloves off.

She balked at the idea. Ella tried to convince him it was too dangerous, she was too dangerous. Maybe if Barry was here…

"All right, Ella, stop," He commanded with a sigh and walked over to the stairs of the house and sat down, with enough room for her to take the space next to him, so she followed suit. "I'm not going to sugar coat what I'm about to tell you."

"I know Barry feels like your safety raft, but he is not. He will fail you… he _has_ fail you and will not always be there, despite his promises. You may think he holds the moon and the stars, butElla, he does not. Your happiness and your control is yours and yours alone. He may be able to fight you, but you are the only one who can control you," Oliver told her, trying to keep eye contact with Ella, but she found she couldn't. He continued, "And whether the two of you are meant to be or not, does not change who you are or who you're going to be. You can do this, Ella, and you sure as hell can do it with out Barry Allen."

Ella's throat felt weirdly thick during Oliver's speech. As much as she wanted Barry, Oliver was right. She needed to live life like Barry was the only thing keeping her afloat. She looked down at her hands, playing with the tip of the glove.

"I know you can recognize the signs of losing control now. Back at the lab, when the air got thick and when I touched my face, the electricity zapped me? I saw your breathing techniques."

"I had the gloves..." Ella interjected quietly, because she wanted to believe him. She wanted to do exactly what he said she could do.

"Apply what you did there to calm yourself down with out the gloves. You have to learn to live with out them. Your enemy will realize these are your weakness. Your enemy will use your gloves against you, and that's why you must take them off now. You must fight with me today," Oliver finished his speech and stood up, waiting for Ella to react.

She swallowed, hard. The words he just said were truer than his previous ones. What if something were to happen to her gloves? Ella could hurt so many people.

"Fine," She finally responded, barely a breath out of her lungs. Oliver held out his hand and helped pull her up. With a deep breath, she slowly pulled the purple gloves from her fingers, slowing revealing pale skin with silver running through them.

Ella shoved the gloves in her pockets then and stood there, waiting. Waiting for what, she wasn't entirely sure, but whatever it was caused her heart to pound, and then her breathing to hitch. Whatever it was was going to happen any second no-

"Ella, look at me. Ella." His voice brought her back in a swoop. His hands suddenly covered her cheeks, forcing her to look at Oliver. "Breath. Breath in, one, two, three, four. Hold it for one, two, three, four, and release it, one, two, three, four…" He repeated the breathing techniques a couple times till Ella finally matched them.

His hands had dropped to her shoulders at some point, till they finally fell away. With controlled breathes, she looked out into the field around her, her eyes falling on the hay dummy Oliver made for her to practice on. She internally named him Sammy.

Oliver started off slowly with her. First, he had her aim for Sammy out in the field. Closer and closer they got to it though, and the closer they got the more power Ella felt. In herself and radiating off the dummy.

The situation felt controlled. So far she hadn't missed her mark by much, if she did not hit it, and the more she did it, the more she got the feel of it. The tug and the pull of the power. How much or how little of it she should do.

Though she knew even before the exercises were over, she'd put the gloves back on even if she could stay in control. For she had too much power, too much control. In the end, it was her who needed dampening, not the lightning.

* * *

It was Ella who called it a day. The sun was fading and she was exhausted. Hands up, she finally just fell back in the grass and looked up into the sky. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Oliver join her.

She lifted her hands above her face as he began to speak again, "You have done well today, Ella. Control is a lot of fighting, whether you have the upperhand or not. You must always have control and I believe one day you will. One day your power won't scare you as much either."

Ella didn't respond, just watched the lightning streaks trail around her fingers, over and over again.

"There's one good thing about this, Oliver. I found it immediately. I think it'll make up for all I've done wrong one day..." she suddenly spoke, placing a hand on Oliver's arm. Ella sat up as he laid back.

"I can feel it, the storm raging in you." Her hand was soft on his arm and as the calming touch ran up his arm and through his body, Oliver's eyes shut for a moment.

"I don't know what I'm fighting for if I don't feel these things," he admitted, after a moment of silence. Silence overtook them again before he finally said, "Please stop."

And Ella did. Oliver pushed himself up to begin cleaning up his supplies as Ella put back on her gloves.

They were walking back to the car when he thanked her.

* * *

It was a long day for Barry. The anticipation and excitement for this unknown and unplanned evening distracted him and he couldn't focus. It took twice as long for him to get anything done. However it was still faster than a person without his superspeed.

Finally the clock struck 5pm and he was home in an instant.

One minute later, he was date ready.

There was just the little issue of needing to meet her at 7pm, not 5:05pm.

He decided to spend the remaining time with a run through the city, trying to clear his head. Trying to convince himself tonight was right.

Barry didn't owe Ella or Fate anything. Faye was completely and utterly his decision. It was his decision to say yes, his decision to take her out for dinner, and his decision to walk her back to her house that night.

And it was Barry's decision not to leave her house that night.

Fate be damned.


	10. Bad Choices & Real Life

**AN:** I feel like I'm constantly apologizing for taking forever to post. This time I'm binge-watching Legends of Tomorrow and trying really really hard to justify a chapter in which they make an appearance lol I mean, I _did_ write in the Arrow...

So I really can't believe I'm at chapter nine! All my ideas are truly starting to come alive and I'm actually beginning to map out a sequel. Not gonna lie, I've never gotten this far in any of my fanfictions! And it's probably all because of you guys, so thank you.

 **CHAPTER NINE: BAD CHOICES & REAL LIFE**

When Barry opened his eyes, it took a second to remember why he didn't recognize the color of the ceiling. This was not his room… he suddenly froze, slowly turning his head over to the sleeping form next to him, and sat up immediately.

The movement caused Faye shift in her sleep, but she didn't wake. Barry swallowed hard, slightly moving his leg and finding out he could feel the soft sheets against his bare skin. That last little shock knocked the remaining spider webs of sleep out of his head.

He was in control last night. Him, not Fate. Not Ella. He chose to go on a date with Faye, he chose to walk her home, and he chose not to leave. He chose to continue on with a near stranger with the knowledge he had no protection.

These choices led him to a near panic attack, lying naked in a near- not even near, a _straight up_ stranger's bed, full of regret and confusion.

He was control, these were his choices, and he realized he could really make some bad ones. Maybe he did need Fate to control his decisions.

Barry tried to slowly get out of bed, to not disturb Faye at all, but like his decision making, he failed in that as well.

She rolled over to face him, a half smile on her face. "Well, wasn't that fun."

He tried to force a smile, tried to ease it into an apologetic smile. "Hey, listen. I'm late for work, I-"

"Barry, it's barely the crack of ass out there," Faye put in with an edge in her tone, though she kept up a relaxed position.

"Tell that to the bad guys. Yeah, I just got called in, yeah. Sorry. I'll, um, I'll see you later," Barry got out, as he picked up his clothes from around the room, attempting to pull on pants, but stumbling in the process. He gave up redressing and practically tumbled into the hall, where he used his superspeed to dress himself and then run out of the apartment all together, before Faye could even rip off her covers and follow him.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ella had been bone dead tired after the day she had with Oliver, who understandably dropped her off back at the West household. Joe hadn't known when anyone was going to be home that day, so he ordered pizza and it was a come when you want it type of dinner. Having only thirty minute lunch break that Oliver strongly suggested NOT to eat anything heavy, she wanted it the instant she got inside.

Having learned that Barry had a metabolism that matched his superspeed, they had tested Ella immediately for the same thing. Despite the fact she didn't run, it turned out that shifting into lightning form took a toll on her body, as well the super healing, she had to eat a ton too. A literal ton.

Dinners in the West household were feasts meant for hundreds, not a short girl, a lanky forensic, and an aging police officer. Ella couldn't comprehend how they could afford all of it.

But nonetheless, she destroyed some pizza, though she majorly slowed down at her last pieces. Her bites came slower, the pizza limp in her hand, and her eyes drooped. Ella hadn't been this worn out since she was a child. Joe sat on the chair in the living room, a beer on the coffee table, quietly watching the TV.

"How was today with Oliver, Ella?" he asked suddenly, turning down the volume, and facing her. She slightly started, with a sheepish look on her face. Putting the pizza in her hand down, Ella turned to him as well.

"Good. Really good, actually… I, uhh, I think I'm going to be okay, Joe," she informed him, though hesitantly. Ella still couldn't believe she was saying those words, and mean them. They caused a small smile to form on Joe face.

"I think so, too, El," he replied, and then chuckled lightly, "I think the last time I saw someone fall asleep eating dinner was when Iris was a baby. Go to bed."

Ella laughed softly too and stood up. "Good idea."

"Those good ideas I occasionally have are why I'm here," Joe said. His smile grew, and as a direct result, the corners of his eyes crinkled.

She looked at the laugh lines a second longer, feeling happy he was in her life now. He looked at her in a way her parents never did.

They said good night to each other and she went up to her room. It took all of her strength to shower and change into pajamas, before finally, at long last, Ella fell into bed.

She did not notice that Barry never returned home that night.

* * *

Barry went home after waking up in Faye's apartment. He showered and changed, but the woman was right. It was just past dawn now and he had a few hours till he was needed at work, but the thoughts running around his mind made it impossible to think.

Finally, he crept out into the hall, and down to the kitchen. The house was quiet. Joe wasn't up yet, but Barry knew he would be soon, and unless Oliver calls Ella in for another impromptu training, she had nowhere to be. He realized then that he really didn't know if Ella was a morning person. He realized he really didn't know Ella well.

Ella spent the time to silently get to know him. Barry had no idea she was doing that, so she had a head start. She's always had a head start on things, though. She always knows things, or maybe things just don't come as a surprise to her? Barry didn't know.

Barry didn't know and he had the nerve to say there was no way in hell he'd be with her?

That was one of the many things he contemplated as he started the first pot of coffee and Joe came trudging into the room.

"Hey, Bear. Didn't see you come home last night," Joe said, though nonchalantly, as he pulled open the fridge, and rummaged around in there for food.

"I don't have a curfew anymore, Joe," Barry automatically snapped, before wincing. "Sorry. You don't want to know."

Joe glanced up at him, with an eyebrow raised. "I might not want to know, but do you need to tell me?"

Barry considered quickly, but decided against it. Joe would chastise him about not using protection, which he was already doing himself- actually the whole night he was chastising himself on- and what good would that do?

"Nah, I'm good. Thanks though."

"Okay. You know you can talk to me anything. I was once twenty five... I understand the concept of one night stands. Did a couple myself, you know."

"How did you-" Barry tried to cringed the question out. However Joe cut him off.

"Unfortunately dads just have this sixth sense and, you know, you didn't come home last night. Do I need to give you a talk about safe sex again because I will-" Joe began, but this time Barry cut him off.

"No, Joe, no. Please… just no." Though maybe he did. Another wave of regret swept over Barry.

"Okay." Joe didn't sound entirely convinced though, and Barry just wanted to get away from this conversation.

"Listen, I'm going to stop by the lab before coming into work. See what Oliver's up to today, you know. So, I'll just see you at the station."

"All right, Bear… be safe," Joe replied, before Barry ran off, and the choice of words caused Barry to cringe again.

When Barry arrived at Star Labs, he found Cisco in the weapons room. He held flesh colored fabric in his hand and followed Barry back to the main room.

"Ella texted me yesterday, said she was coming by this morning," Cisco said as they walked.

"Is that for her?" Barry asked, his heart clenching at her name. Cisco eyed in him for a moment, causing Barry to feel self conscious. Did Faye leave a mark on him? Was there a hickey beginning to form? He rubbed his neck, slightly paranoid.

"Uh yeah. I figure she can't go around with her Bolt gloves to help her stay in control… these are made to be unnoticeable," Cisco explained, showing him the gloves. They were small and slinky, like they would fit her hands like a second skin. "And we kinda have to cover up the sparks on her hands as well." He shrugged, but Barry just nodded.

"She's really going to like them," He tried to stay nonchalant, but apparently he was failing. He fell into silence, trying to push down the guilt he felt, but Cisco could see right through him.

"Okay man, what's going on? You, like, flinched when I first mentioned her name and now you're just acting all weird. Did something happen last night?" Cisco asked, bringing Barry to a stop in the hall.

Barry sighed loudly at Cisco's question, running a hand over his hair. "Is it that obvious?"

"Yeah, it's that obvious," Cisco responded, raising an eyebrow for Barry to explain.

"I, um… well, I met a girl recently and I went out with her last night."

Cisco nodded slowly and said, "The one you met with Ella?"

"How'd you know?" Barry questioned, but Cisco just shrugged, clearly not going to explain. So Barry put in, "At least I don't have to endure walks of shame anymore."

Cisco looked away from Barry for a second. This conversation wasn't out of line in their friendship, but Barry knew Ella had won the hearts of everyone at the lab and he had just admitted to sleeping with someone, though everyone knew how Ella felt about him. How he was going to feel about her… Barry knew he had his friend torn between friendships right now.

"Didn't stop Joe from noticing though. It's been seven years since I was in high school and his sex radar is still going strong." Barry realized then he needed to share his worry, share his regret with someone. He continued on walking to get to the main room, feeling antsy just standing in one spot when he came to this decision.

"Got the safe sex spiel again?" Cisco finally said, looking back at Barry, a note of amusement in his voice. "Every time I bring up a girl to my mom, same thing. You'd think after ten years of it, they'd realized we get it."

Barry winced and looked away, as Cisco caught on as to what exactly happened last night. "Or, maybe not-" They rounded a corner then, nearly running into a distraught looking Ella.

"You whore," She accused softly. "You _whore_!" Her voice rose as she repeated herself. "I knew you were… but I never thought… you…." Ella's lip suddenly trembled and she swallowed, hard. "Faye stole everything from me. Everything. And I don't mean you, Barry," Her voice caught on the last word. "My grandma's bookstore. My home." Her voice had dropped again and Barry wished then she was yelling at him again. "You were in the apartment, right? You-you probably slept with her in my bedroom," she said, trying to turn her sob into a bitter laugh, but she didn't really succeed.

Tears shone in Ella's eyes and Barry looked away, unable to take the hurt he saw there. Unable to take that he was the one that put it there. God, Barry could really mess things up.

Cisco had frozen at the mention of Faye's name. He saw Barry's mouth open to reply, but whatever the response was became background noise. "Faye?" He interrupted, completely shocked. "Faye is the girl you met?"

Both Barry and Ella shot Cisco a look of disbelief, like _why does this matter at this very second_? But from the look on his face, they realized instantly it mattered a lot at this very second.

"Buzzed hair?" Cisco asked, and they both nodded. Ella sniffled. "Red lips?" More nods.

"Oh my God, I should have told you…" Cisco said in horror. Ella let out a deep breath, trying to stay in control, as clearly this just got bigger than Ella and Barry's love life. "I met Faye last week. She's a seer. She's been helping me with my vibes."

* * *

In an instant, Ella's rage of emotions was clamped down with the news of Faye being a seer. What was her game then? Apparently she had known Cisco had vibes. What does she know about Barry? About Ella? Her anger with a hurting heart was replaced by worry with a hurting heart in an instant.

"Oh, I knew it was too good to be true," Cisco chided himself for the hundredth time. "She had only one condition: not to tell you guys. I'm such an idiot." Embarrassment over his mistake colored his tan cheeks. "And you just…" He shook his head, unable to finish the sentence, but he had been talking to Barry. Ella could finish the sentence in her mind. _And you just slept with her…_

"She had this line about respect and that this was still her secret to keep even if you guys could be trusted," Cisco continued, though Ella nor Barry blamed him. If anything, Ella was sure it was Barry to blame. As Cisco rambled on, her anger towards Barry grew. He finally finished, "I should have known. Why would a girl like that be into a guy like me?"

"Because you're a good guy, Cisco. And Faye is anything but _good_ ," Ella put in, finally checking back in to reality. "At least you were smart enough to not get into her pants."

Barry shook his head, unable to look at either of them. "El's right. I gotta go… I gotta go talk to her."

Ella pulled out her phone at his words, trying to feign nonchalant at Barry's agreement. "And I have an interview in about fifteen minutes. I'd like to get there early to make a good impression, you know."

"Well, divide and conquer then. Barry, you see what Faye's motive is, and Ella, you go get that job. So far you're the only one who didn't fall for Faye's lies, you deserve to have something good happen today," Cisco said, sounding resigned, but suddenly his eyes perked up. "Oh, yeah. Made these for you last night." He straightened out the tan gloves he had bunched in his hand. "For, you know, everyday life."

A true smile broke out across Ella's face, momentarily forgetting about her heartbreak and newfound confusion. She quickly pulled off the purple ones currently covering her hands and slipped the nude ones on. They were like a second skin and they hid her sparks. They gave off a slight velvet look, but Ella would totally take it.

"Thanks, Cisco!" She said, throwing her arms around his neck. "I mean what I said," Ella whispered in his ear.

They pulled away and Cisco couldn't fight the grin on his face. "Where are you interviewing?" He asked,

"CCPD," Ella answered smugly.

" _What_?" Barry choked, taken aback by her answer.

"Well, they have a front desk receptionist opening, don't they?" She answered with a sly grin.

"But he… knows. You think he'll hire you while he knows you're the Bolt?" Barry asked, recovering from his shock.

"Yeah, I do. He'll be able to keep an eye on me and I'll be a good first defense if anything were to go down. Plus I got mad talent answering a phone and directing people to where they need to be," Ella answered, a well rehearsed response. She had given this a lot of thought.

"Well, that's perfect!" Cisco replied excitedly, before adding, "Break a leg, El. You'll do great."

* * *

Despite all the thought she gave for applying for this job, she second guessed it many times as Ella was waiting to be called back. She had arrived ten minutes early. The officers had a rotating schedule of manning the front desk and the one currently performing the duty called Singh to let him know she was here and directed her to sit down at the benches against the wall. Ella could totally do this.

But then why was she felt with such dread as she waited? Maybe this wasn't a good idea after all. Maybe Singh would mind that she's the Bolt-

"Miss Peterson?" The man at the desk called her name. She looked up. "Captain Singh will see you now."

"Thank you," Ella responded as she followed the officer back. He knocked on the Captain's door for her before entering and introducing her, but it was clear he'd been unable to find her identity as his eyes widened for a second at the sight of her.

"Uh, thanks, Rodrick. I got it from here," Singh said slowly, cautiously. He eyed Ella with a slightly suspicious look.

Once alone, Ella took a big breath, about to break the ice, but he spoke first: "Ella Peterson, is it then?" He sighed loudly as she nodded.

"Yes, sir."

"What are you doing here?" He asked warily.

"Your job opening. Front desk receptionist," she answered quickly, but it took a long moment for him to respond.

"I'm not exactly sure what you're expect-"

"Look, Captain. I'm a rookie. I'm green. I'm… a newb, or whatever, but I'm being trained. I'm being trained by the Flash and the Arrow. And I.. I'm in control now," Ella cut him off, trying to sound confident but she sounded more surprised than anything.

"Having the Arrow as your reference doesn't help you much," Singh said, running a hand over his face.

"But he's good at teaching control and defense, and with these," She held up her hands, causing the captain to lean in and look, "These are dampening gloves. Barely noticeable, but I can't lose control with them on. I'm completely and utterly safe!"

"I can't believe I'm having this conversation with the Bolt..." Singh muttered, shaking his head.

"Thank you, by the way. Thank you for keeping my secret," the words exploded from Ella's heart. She hadn't intended to really talk about it. Though it'd be best if she didn't cause attention to herself, but she found it felt good to say them. "I didn't ask for this… I got shot in the lung and died, but apparently the Flash has these super healing powers, and he saved me. I was in a coma for eight months and the day at the warehouse-"

"Stop right there… I will get fired for this," He groaned before adding, "You did save mine and my husband's life."

Did he feel like he owed her? That was unexpected, but a grin spread slowly on Ella's face. "You do realize the Flash is just a normal guy. Somewhere, right now, he's doing a normal job. He needs one just as much as you… just as much as me. Him-I-we need something normal, please. I won't fail you. I swear to protect this station- this city with my last breath," She finished passionately. Then a beat later, she said, "But it's not like people are knocking down your doors for this job."

"I know, I know. Yes, yes… you got it. You start tomorrow morning. Go, now get out of my sight, Peterson," Singh said, causing Ella to stand up in excitement.

"Yes! Thank you! You don't know what this means...!" She exclaimed. Finally, something good out of all of this. Suddenly Ella wondered how Barry was doing with Faye.

"Yeah, I do, Peterson. I don't think you know the extent of what this means."

* * *

Barry stood outside 'It's Your Fate' Bookstore, not believing just last night he was upstairs in the apartment. Why didn't he think of how this had Ella's old home? That this had been her bookstore, her grandmother's bookstore? Even back in high school, Ella had been seen working behind the counter in Addie's. She practically ran it, even then. Mrs Winter's just worked during the school day. Ella would come home immediately after school and start her shift, the counter piled up with schoolwork.

He had really screwed up.

With a sigh, Barry pulled out the door. It dinged as he walked in. He looked around, thinking how much it was the same and how much it was not the same as from back when him and Ella were kids.

"Took you long enough to figure it out."

Barry's head jerked to the direction of the voice. Faye was walking down the stairs from the apartment.

"I guess Cisco was so tired of being in your shadow that he really did not want to tell you."

"He said you wanted your secret-"

"To be respected? Nah, best friends are suppose to tell each other _everything_. I mean, obviously you feel the same way. You told him about us," Faye cut him off, coming to a halt at the end of the staircase.

He didn't know how to respond and finally was about to sputter out, "There is no 'us'."

"Well, there is definitely an 'us' in the equation. Whether me or you, or me and Sebastian," She replied, with a taunting smile on her lips.

"Sebastian?" Barry could barely breath out the name. Dark mess of curls, coffee, pleading eyes… _Daddy, don't leave yet._

"You remember the dream I got my friend to give you the other morning, yeah? Me, you, Sebby. That's the life we could have, Barry, if you just give in _now_ ," Faye said, taking a step closer to Barry, who was frozen by the door.

"Give in to what?"

Faye took another step closer. "Me."

"Who even are you?"

"I'm Fate."

* * *

The birds were singing, the grass was green. Ella was ready to get on with her life, to overcome this obstacle. It still hurt she didn't have the bookstore, but she knew her grandma would still be proud of her, and what her to give her all into whatever job she had.

These past couple of weeks have gone so fast for her. Waking up, losing control, learning control, heartbreak… and also the fact she could literally turn into a bold sped it up for her even more. So she walked back to the West household after leaving the station.

She took it slow, trying to steady the racing thoughts in her mind. Ella was only two blocks away from CCPD station when suddenly her shoulder was cracking against pavement in a dark, trash filled alleyway.

Somebody had attacked her, pushed her into this desolate alley. With a groan, she used her other hand to push herself into a sitting position, and she looked into the soulless beady eyes of the speedster in black.

"Hello, my love."


	11. The 2nd Death of Ella Peterson

DID Y'ALL KNOW JOE WAS IN X-FILES!? Okay, yeah, the actor, but still! I'm about halfway though season six and lo and behold, twenty-something year old Joe is an alien! Not gonna lie, I got a bit more excited than what the situation called for. :p anyways I've been writing this chapter in my head for weeks, it's about time I put it into words. Also, Constantine y'all. Planning a crossover as we speak…

 **CHAPTER TEN: THE 2ND DEATH OF ELLA PETERSON**

The hours of training and control Ella learned just the day before flew from her mind. She cowered against the ground, barely noticing the shots of pain the movement of her shoulder caused.

"It's time, my dear. Everything's ready for you to return to your full glory," Zoom informed her. The words gave her a jolt and loosened her paralyzed body. Favoring her shoulder, she raised her other hand to try to bring down a bolt of lightning on the speedster, but he was too fast in her dazed state. He was inches from her face before Ella was finished raising her arm.

"You will thank me soon enough," He whispered in her ear, before she saw his hand rise, and Ella knew no more.

She didn't know how much time had passed before she could think of more than the black nothingness she had suddenly fell in. Slowly, she heard creaking and moaning of shift floorboards and old pipes. Sometimes off in the distance, Ella heard a car horn or a siren. Her head still felt too heavy and her eyelids felt like they had weights glued to them.

Ella knew she wasn't in a safe place, but she could bring herself to open her eyes. She just knew the dull thud on the side of her head would increase if she did. Though she found out it wasn't her choice when she woke up.

An unexpected sharp pain erupted from her shoulder. Her eyes popped open but the room spun from the pain, and she cried out. Slowly, the world righted itself and revealed Zoom standing beside her, an arm still on her shoulder.

"You hit the ground a bit harder than I intended. Your shoulder's in place now and will heal again _correctly_ in no time," He said, but she didn't respond. She was too busy trying to even out her breaths.

Then she looked down and found her arms and legs in cuffs. Her shoes had also been taken off and her feet floated in a few inches of water. The entire floor was flooded.

"Just a precaution," Zoom rumbled out, pacing around Ella. As a last ditch effort, she tried to use her power to bolt away, but her body felt weirdly quiet. It was normally tingling with electricity, it felt dead... "Those are dampening cuffs, much like those glove of yours, just so much more stronger. This is inevitable, Ella."

"But I'm not your Ella. She's _dead_ , right? I'm from this Earth. I am a complete different person. There is no way to make me _her_!" The certainty Zoom had that he could change Ella into the one she knew terrified her.

"But she is _alive_ in me. I remember every inch and every second," his breath hitched. The emotion scared Ella more than his normal rage, "of her. And I… made a mistake but I can fix it, I can bring her back."

Ella froze then, her mind connecting the dots of the plan. "So you're going to brain wash me with your memory of her? It doesn't matter who you are, but the way you perceive a person isn't who they are. It is only one part-"

"Oh no, my dear. Not only will you have my best memories of her, but I have a friend who can see in the past, and will give you her best memories, even without me. And I will take away the ones that cause her pain. It won't be perfect, but it will be enough. We will make new memories together, Ella."

"You are out of your mind." It was all Ella could say but she wished she said nothing at all, because her voice shook. She didn't want Zoom to know how scared she was. She didn't even want to believe how scared she was because then she would have to believe this could actually happen. Her wide eyes searched his soulless ones, trying to find the insanity, but all Ella saw was determination.

"I can't wait to erase your pathetic mind away," Zoom responded. Though she couldn't see the malice filled grin, she certainty heard it in his demonic voice. He came closer and reached a hand out towards Ella. Uncontrollably, she flinched away, but he never touched her. Instead, he reached down and pushed a button on the side of her chair, that made the seat go back.

Ella had to admit it now. She was terrified. The second the back of her seat started to move, her fight or flight was triggered, and she started thrashing. Skin began peeling away at her wrists and ankles as she fought against her restraints, but nothing budged. To her humiliation, a whimper escaped her lips.

"Oh, my dear Ella," he chuckled, the words causing her to still. She turned her hand to find him prepping a needle. "Before you know it, it will be all over. You will be the best you've ever been."

Her arm shook when his hand clamped down in it. He kept a firm grip as he shot the needle into her skin and ice darted through her veins.

"As much as I don't care if you suffer, my Ella needs a whole body to wake up in," he told her, as the ice spread throughout her body. She tried to thrash again, but her body was frozen. The only thing Ella found she could move were her eyes, which darted around, taking everything she could.

She heard a ripping noise and she strained her eyes to see what looked like a rip in the air past her legs. A swirling mess of something floated in the opening and suddenly two people came through, their feet landing heavy on the ground. One of the men had a tight grip over the other one, who fumbled to the ground upon impact.

A jolt of surprise shocked her then, as she recognized one of the people standing beside her. His tan, round face. His dark brown eyes. His hair was in a ponytail, which was unusual, but it was him. It was Cisco.

There was a warning in the back of her mind, _something's off with him_ , nothing looked different, but something _was_.

Nonetheless, Ella tried to say his name, but found she didn't even have control of her lips, so she then thought it as hard as she could. She thought _Cisco_ and forced it through the air and tried to get it to reach him but she couldn't. He looked at her, but it was clear his eyes didn't know her.

"This is the man that will erase your memories and plant you knew ones," He supersped over to the man she didn't know, and ripped his arm up, forcing his body into a standing position. His entire body shook in the same terror that filled Ella. "And this is the one who holds all the memories," Zoom gestured to Cisco this time. "The days we've spent gathering them since I saw your face… it's time. It's finally time. Then, _together_ , we can destroy the Flash."

Zoom leaned in close to Ella's face, close enough to see her eyes had dilated so much in fear that they have practically lost their color.

"Goodbye, Ella," he whispered harshly into her face.

Cisco pulled the other man to her other side. He shook violently in terror, causing his knees to buckle, and the other man who wear her friend's face had to hold him up.

"Start. Now." Zoom commanded, pulling out of her face and taking a step back.

Ella strained to pull her gaze towards the man who was barely standing next to her and begged him with her eyes not to do this. He didn't want to do this, she could tell, but she knew he probably _had_ to do it, whether he was protecting himself or someone else, Ella didn't fault him, but she begged anyways.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he said like a broken record, before Zoom snapped at him to start again.

He raised a shaking hand and brought it down on the top of Ella's head and forehead, forcing her eyes to shut. Nothing happened for a second, but then a splatter of memories began, using her eyelids as a movie backdrop.

It started with memories she didn't even remember, long lost in the recess of her mind. Her mind's eye blinked through images of her parents reaching both arms down to her to pick her up, her toddling around on shaky feet, stinging in her hand when she tried to catch a bee, bear hugs from her dad, and butterfly kisses to her mom- memories that were replaced with fighting and tears as she got older. Was it her, or was it her parents that ruined their relationship? Maybe all of them where to blame.

The memories got newer as they shuffled through the ones where her parents the most important people in her life. A childhood friend came and went, then a favorite school teacher. An ache had started to form over her body, a longing for people Ella was forgetting, and there was nothing she could do about it.

It's a cliché thing, but it is always said before you die your life flashes before your eyes. There was a wiggle of a thought in the back of her mind, telling her how ironic it was.

This was the death of everything that is Ella Grace Peterson.

* * *

Barry shook his head, over and over, not wanting to believe what Faye was saying. His mind kept replaying the night Ella died, about Decree and the warlock about Fate as if it was a person. He knew in his bones this was who they were talking about, but he was scared to ask.

"I know all the ways this can go, Barry. All of them in death. I don't think you want that."

"The future isn't set in stone..." Barry echoed words that have been flung around since this whole thing with Ella started.

"Yeah, but I get all the changes in my pretty little head of mine," she replied, a single finger tapping the side of her head.

"You can't… you can't get them all..." he stuttered out, his head still shaking in disbelief. _There were infinite possibilities, she can't get them all_ , he repeated that silently to himself.

Faye shrugged. "Well, you can think that if that's what lets you think at night."

The air was thick with tension, with Barry's speechlessness and Faye's self righteousness at the situation. When the phone in Barry's pocket went off, it actually startled him. A text from Cisco was displayed on the screen: _Ella's missing. Phone tracker turned off and not answering phone… Star Labs ASAP._

"It's time for you to go, isn't it? Don't worry, Bear. I know where to get a hold of you. See you around," Faye said with a wave, before walking nonchalantly back up the stairs to the apartment, like she didn't have a care in the world.

Barry wanted to stay and get all the information he could get, but Ella's tracker being turned off was a care added to his massive list, so he let Faye go for the time being and sped away, meeting Cisco at Star Labs.

Barry found his friend hunched over a computer, trying all he could do locate their new friend. There was a phone against his ear, and his head shook as he muttered, "no no no no" to himself.

"So, update," Cisco began as soon as he realized Barry had arrived. He ran a hand through his hair and Barry knew immediately the update wasn't a good one. "Hacked into the security cameras around CCPD and followed Ella leaving. She didn't even make it three blocks before Zoom attacked her, Barry. Zoom's got her."

"Oh, God." That was all Barry could think to mutter for a second. He knew what Zoom was capable of… which was anything. Finally, he remembered, "Ella said she was his girlfriend on Earth 2 and that first night after she woke up, the first night she stayed at my house, he said he was going to make her his Ella somehow."

"But that's not… that's not possible."

"Zoom seems to think so," Barry replied, letting out a stress filled sigh. He should have protected Ella better. Not just her heart… but her as well. "I'm going to that alleyway. I'm going to see if there's any clues."

"There isn't going to be, Barry," Cisco said gently. Of there wasn't going to be, but Barry had to do something!

"This isn't your fault." Was Barry's self hatred written on his face?

"You couldn't have known, you couldn't have prevented this..." Cisco tried to tell him, but Barry shook his head.

"There are so many other things I could have though, Cisco. Maybe this little thing isn't directly my fault, but it's because of my fault," Barry answered, before walking away to pass a moment.

They had to do something. They had to think of something. Zoom could be doing _anything_ to her…

"Barry!" Cisco cut through his dark thoughts. "Barry, I can try to vibe her. I could see where she's at!"

In any other situation, there might be some jokes made about the way Barry grabbed Cisco before speeding off without another word, even just to break the tension. But neither of them had it in them.

Only a few seconds passed since Cisco had that great idea and they were standing in Ella's room in the West household.

Ella's tabby cat was curled in a cardboard box of clothes and knickknacks from her parents house and Cisco quickly shooed Leo out, the cat replying with an indignant meow.

Barry anxiously paced as Cisco grabbed things from the box and tried to vibe, but there was something wrong with the items and he couldn't vibe. Barry looked into the box, wondering why none of it worked.

"Maybe they're just too old. She's not connected to them," Cisco suggested, something Barry could believe. Ella probably forgot about all the stuff in this box till recently and still has had minimal interaction with them.

"Try something out of the box. Like… the sweatshirt on the bed. She was wearing that this morning, wasn't she?" Barry hoped against hope that the sweatshirt would work. It was a Star Labs one, it was definitely one she'd wore recently, definitely one she was connected to…

Barry knew the moment Cisco's breath caught that he'd vibed. He began to describe the room she was in as Barry began to pace again.

"It's like… a warehouse. Not too far from the city, I can hear night life. She's… she's strapped down, on her back. There are three men- holy crap, that's me, I'm one of the men! No way… but there's Zoom and… another man. Oh, God, Barry, he's doing something to Ella. His hand is on her head and her eyelids are flickering like she's possessed or something, man. Mad freaky, mad..." Cisco trailed off, and with bated breath, Barry watched him. He took a couple steps from where he was standing, but Barry knew he couldn't move far.

Suddenly a gasping breath brought Cisco back to this moment, in Ella's room.

"I know where she is! That damn mill. He's at the mill with her," Cisco exclaimed

"Okay, I'm going. Alert the team..." Barry paused, trying form a half assed plan in his head before running. "Oliver hasn't left yet, has he?"

Cisco shook his head. "No, he came by after you and El left. He's visiting his kid today."

"Oh, he's going to hate me," Barry sighed, knowing the mother doesn't want anything to do with Oliver's personal life and the freaking Flash is going to ruin whatever they had planned today.

"But you need him," Cisco said firmly.

Barry nodded. "I'll call him. You get back to the lab."

* * *

Ten minutes later, the Flash and Arrow sneaking in the saw mill. Zoom couldn't know they were here till Ella was in sight. To enter, they found a back door that was chained shut. The sound of it being broke caused Barry to flinch.

Silent. They couldn't make any noise. Zoom couldn't know they were here. They used hand movements instead of speaking. The only sound was Cisco alerting them, through hacking a satellite and seeing which room had heat signatures, where to go.

If Zoom hadn't been so into making sure the brainwashing of Ella was perfect, he would have long realized they were there, and it was the only upside to this whole situation.

They bursted into the room, causing the four occupants to freeze like if stuck in a picture. The plan was to grab Ella and run, and if Barry could get her to safety fast enough, return to help Oliver. But he didn't think he would. He thought another fight would be had tonight. And Barry didn't care how bad he got hurt if it meant Ella was safe. He would have Zoom break his back five times over than have her back in his clutches doing… whatever he was allowing this man to do her.

In the split second it took Barry to reach Ella, he noticed Cisco standing next to the bedside, but he didn't let it faze him. He couldn't. He saw the frozen expressions of surprise before looking at Ella, who's, like his? Cisco said, eyes were twitching under the hand over the other man.

Barry only got to Ella because Zoom was so distracted. This wasn't lost on either of them. Barry realized in this moment that Ella had become a weakness and he didn't know how Zoom would react to him knowing.

Barry knew he wasn't fast enough yet. He knew he didn't have long till Zoom caught up to him.

But Zoom had other plans.

"You've broken her, Barry! You took her before the process was done. The way his hand was ripped off of her- you damaged her. There is no getting either of our Ella's back but I'll give you the broken pieces. I'll watch you try to put her back together and I'll _laugh_! She can't be fixed!" He shouted at Barry, before disappearing from behind him.

Barry ran around for a minute longer, to make sure Zoom was truly gone, before going back to Star Labs. He wanted to keep running though, he didn't want to face what Zoom had just threatened him with.

He didn't want to find out what he just did to Ella.


End file.
